It’s Not You, It’s … Your I-Phone!

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Could  Your I-Phone Be to Blame for Your Failed Relationships?

It’s no surprise that cell phone usage is now touted as an addiction —  “nomophobia,” which is probably short for “no-mobile-phobia.” Cell phone addiction stories are now frequently making the news. Researchers and prominent scholars have been speaking up about the dangers for some time now. Even the Telegraph quoted Dr. James Roberts, of Baylor’s Hankamer School of Business stating that cell phones are “eroding our personal relationships.”

Even more interesting, the Telegraph noted that “previous studies,” (such as one done by the  Journal of Behavioural Addictions)  showed that young adults check their phone about 60 times a day. Guess how many times the average person smiles per day? About 40-50, sometimes more, and obviously sometimes less. But the point is that most of us use our phones more than we smile. That’s a serious problem!

It’s already been established that electronics emit harmful radiowaves, and one study (although small, but relevant enough to heed the information found) showed that cell phone usage is linked with erectile dysfunction (E.D). The study found that men with E.D. carried cell phones significantly longer than those who use theirs for under 2 hours daily.  Unfortunately, men who simply carry their phones around for 4+ hours a day are more likely to suffer from impotence than those who use theirs for under 2 hours a day. What’s more is that if you’re trying for a bouncing new baby, your phone isn’t on your side. A study found that cell phones have “an impact on sperm quality, including sperm morphology and sperm motility.” In other words sperm’s quality, quickness and the sperm’s appearance/structure was decreased in all 4 patients when cell-phone usage was increased.

Well just cut down the time we’re on our phones right?  It seems it’s not that easy for us to ditch our phones. Obviously having your nose buried in anything (other than your lover) is a mood-killer, and sometimes downright rude, depending on the moment. These questionarre results alone should be enough to emphasize the extent of this issue. A study done by AVG Technologies stated that 57% of US women would rather give up sex for a week over their iphones. Men answered a differently — they won’t give up sex for their iphones, but  new girlfriends? Nah,  who needs those? Just slap that shiny electronic in their hands. Perhaps what we actually need is iphone rehab instead of intervention?

Is that not enough to make you want to throw that iphone out the window? So, how about we all make a habit to “switch-off” for as long as our lives will allow each day. Just think, if we switch off our electronics for, say, 2 hours a day while spending time with our lovers, we may have the odds in our favor of filling our love cups and also of lessening our health risks, which are not in favor of our healthy sex lives, apparently. Who can honestly say no to that?

Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

5 Things Single Folks Do Wrong

What are single folks doing wrong – that keep them single? I’m talking to the singles who wish to be in a relationship, not those who have it all together and are not seeking advice from an ex-single woman. After observing some of my single friends, I noticed a few common factors, and now we’re about to rip them to shreds:

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1. “Something must be wrong with me since I can’t find the right one.”

Nothing is wrong with you! Repeat after me: nothing is wrong with me.

Stop comparing yourself to other people’s relationships, and for Pete’s sake, stop listening to the TV’s version of single folks (ahem Ted from How I met your mother!) You are not those characters, and being single doesn’t mean you must be doing something wrong. Stop trying to fix yourself each weekend when you go home without a date.

Everything is right with you.  I would bet that the minute you stop focusing on what must be wrong with you, or what you need to fix in order to start bringing in the men/women, you’ll begin to see a whole new world of people who catch your interest, and who might even share the interest. Sometimes we are so wrapped up in our singledom to even notice those dates we’re praying so hard for at night!

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2.  Needing a relationship.

I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but the minute you start saying “I need a man/woman because….”, is the minute you’re basically telling the universe that you can’t live without this special someone. You’ll never get what you want by needing it too much.

Learn to feel (even just a little) okay without having someone to come home to. Sounds crappy, but when you tell yourself that you’re okay with being alone for a while (even if this isn’t true), you’ll start reaping what you’ve sown all this time. Holding on too tightly seems to do the opposite of what we really want, so practice letting go just a tiny bit, and see if you don’t soon begin meeting potential loves.

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3. You’ve developed the never-gonna-happen mentality.

Never develop the never-gonna-happen mentality! Or you know what will happen? Exactly what you proclaim — nothing. When you’re constantly feeding yourself these ideas that something will never happen for you, that is exactly what you’ll get! So, as corny as it is, take the advice of Earl Nightingale and begin with more positive thinking. You’ll be amazed at what that simple task alone will do for you.

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4. “I’ll never get anyone because my standards are just too high.”There’s no such thing, so stop giving yourself that excuse. Having standards just means that you know what you and need in a man or woman. While relationships are about compromise, you don’t have to give up your core wants and needs. Figure out what it is that you value the most in a partner and use that to help you find the beau that best suits you. Just because you have standards doesn’t mean you can’t find anyone. It actually means you can more easily sift through the ones that aren’t a good fit.

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5. “The kind of man/woman I want just doesn’t exist.”

Again, there’s no such thing, so stop using that excuse. I can assure you, the kind of person you’ve dreamed of is out there. If you are a fan of the Law of Attraction, you’ll realize this as truth. The qualities that you are looking for in your partner are out there and continue to put those into the universe. As you date you can use this as a barometer for your compatibility with another. Flexibility is key – sometimes your dream man or woman does not come in the package you exected. But if you are open to it you just might unwrap the gift and realize he or she was all that you ever asked for. This means being open to meeting and getting to know people – and realizing that you deserve your desires and you can have them . Yes you’re dream man or woman is out there – open your eyes.

Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

When Your Relationship is PMS-ing

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You know when it seems like your relationship is completely out of whack? Your spouse is just unexplicably “off” and you feel like somewhere along the way, you guys have hit an irritable, frustrating bump in the love road. Every time one of you opens your mouth, the other jumps on the defensive train and it turns into one argument after the other, and over seemingly nothing. You don’t know what happened, but over the last few days, you’ve been at each others throats, and everything s/he does seems to set you off (and vice-versa.)

Virtually all relationships go through “relationship PMS” at some point. It may be as frequent as your own PMS, or it may be as rare as once a year. Wherever you stand on the scale, learn to identify the issue for what it is and be mindful that it, much like Aunt Flo, will also pass. Even knowing this, relationship PMS is not fun for any of us, so here are a few ways to cut through that cruddy phase and get your relationship back in order.

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Find harmony. 

We rarely feels harmonious during PMS week, and relationships are no exception. There’s stress and frustration, but harmony eludes us. When dealing with the frustration of the PMS spell (whether it’s your PMS or your relationship) grab yourself a piece of peace and harmony.  One of the simplest methods is by using guided meditation (which you can find on YouTube). Sitting through a 15 minute session of guided meditation works wonders to bring your focus, clarity and mental state back to more sane levels. If you can get your lover to participate with you, even better! It’ll help bring the relationship back into balance.

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Too much time together

Obviously too much time together can  lead to further frayed nerves.  So agree to spend half a day alone, doing something that relaxes and rejuvenates the both of you, then meet up for a relaxing activity that you can do together.  For example, my spouse & I took a  late-night adventure into the peaceful, quiet woods last weekend and felt better than if we’d stayed in with a boring movie. Just a breath of fresh air, and a little nature can help bring you both back into a more easy-going state of being.

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You need a laugh

…or perhaps a drink, but there is a reason people have said  laughter is “the best medicine” for so many centuries. If you can get yourself a good, hearty laugh, then your outlook and mood will in fact lift. Speaking of a good laugh, what’s funnier than two people having some light-hearted fun with each other? Achieve this by channeling the inner child in you and cook up a prank to play on your lover. Think saran wrap on the toilet seat or a go old school and get a whoopie cushion (whoopie cushions for men = endless hours of fun). If you can master a funny prank that’ll make him laugh too – you just might end the PMS phase for good. Nothing cuts tension like a fit of laughter. Just make sure it’s done with kindness and not cruelty, and be prepared to get pranked in return!

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Never underestimate the power of music

Music is another tried and true method for altering your mood. One of my favorite happy-songs is “Happy” by Pharrell Williams. I cannot play that song and not smile. Anytime I feel discouraged, down or overly stressed, I play it, and it never fails to uplift my mood.  If you have your own favorite song that puts you in a can’t-resist-must-dance-now mood, then put it on repeat and don’t stop until you’re there! You and your partner both will benefit from the good vibes of a happy song.

Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

 

5 Things I Learned From Being in Love

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1. Love isn’t all about receiving, but about experiencing joy together. 

It feels good to receive, nobody can deny that,  but what’s more important is  the joy two awesome folks can experience with each other. When two people are deeply in love, the giving/receiving part comes naturally, and without tension. Couples whose love is strong enough usually get their wants and needs met – experiencing the joys of this together is most important.

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2. Love isn’t about someone else making you whole. 

You must already be “whole” before you can ever experience a healthy, loving relationship with someone. You know what they say, to love someone else or they can love you, you must first love yourself. It’s pretty much the same concept with being “whole.” When you’re already in whole, once you enter a relationship, the need to have someone else give you something that only you can give yourself won’t stand in your way of love.

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3. Life really, truly is all about feeling. 

Feeling joyful, bliss, appreciated and unconditionally loved – that’s what life is about.  I’d bet there isn’t a single one of us on earth who doesn’t want these things above all else. When you realize that this is what it’s all about, you’ll be more in tune to each other and your feelings. And you know what they say: when one spouse feels badly, so does the other and when one is happy, so is the other. So, take note of what creates these positive feelings for the both of you – and do them more often.

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4. Having peace feels way better than winning an argument.

I don’t know about you ladies, but it can feel good to “win” arguments. However,  it’s a quick way to sour the good vibes, when you take winning too seriously. There doesn’t have to be a winner and loser in every argument. Respect each other’s side, and usually, (when you stop feeding that ego that screams “but I have to be right, and S/he has to admit it!”) you’ll find that a lot of arguments weren’t big enough to evolve into more than a serious discussion in the first place. In fact, when you think about how short life is, some arguments will suddenly become irrelevant, and so will winning them.

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5. It’s okay to disagree. . . on some things. 

Obviously, it’s important to be in agreement on the important matters of a relationship, but the truth is, I really don’t need him to agree with me on whether or not aliens do in fact exist (and they do). Bottom line:  if it’s not a deal-breaker, we can simply agree to disagree, but still enjoy a fun, lighthearted debate every now and then.

Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

Men Have Evolved & Here’s Why That’s Good News

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Ladies, are you ready for this news? It appears that men are not the jerks we’ve always been told. Told you it was big news. Now, for the explanation…

Men everywhere are speaking up about what they want in a relationship.  Turns out, men aren’t actually the cold-hearted, chauvinistic, sloppy, anti-sappy, insensitive guys we thought. Okay, some are, but it appears that men have finally caught up with the majority of us women in this whole relationship/love thing. In a survey of 1,000 men, when asked what they long for in a relationship, the majority of them report honesty, long-term, deep, real bonding and (gasp!) commitment.

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My theory is that some behave like jerks in relationships, partly due to pressures of masculinity. For some being “manly” has been an important aspect of their lives growing up, and it has been taught that the definition of manhood is being without emotions, or at least expressing them. This “manliness” often results in a distance between male/female relationships because the lack of intimacy and emotional fulfillment.

Men are beginning to break free from the stigma and pressure of emotional connections. This shift could be positive, especially for the ladies out there who’ve been on the hunt for a man who’s in touch with his emotions and doesn’t have any problem showing his sensitive side. I think it’s now safe to say that they have evolved – or at least are evolving. This is great news because lasting relationships often require both partners to be understanding and put forth effort to meet each other’s wants and needs – emotional support included.

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Don’t take positive news to mean that it’s safe to let your guard down, though. Not every man is going to have the right intentions as far as relationships go. But, you no longer have reason to believe that all chivalry and men with marriage potential are out the window. In other words, there are a lot a “nice guys” our there, ladies just have to take a chance in finding out which ones they are. You shouldn’t have to look too hard either.

A man will show you who he is in due time. Patience is key. As you’re courting, pay attention to how a man treats you, his patterns – consistency is important. A man that is faking his evolution can only fake for so long – it will eventually fade. Real change is lasting. An evolved man will be confident and mature enough to establish an emotional connection that fulfills you long beyond the excitement of the honeymoon stage. That being said, once you find this evolved man, your chances of actually reaching a honeymoon will probably be exponentially greater.

Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

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