The Gift of Orgasm is Coming This Year

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Chilly, winter months mean spending more time indoors, but more time indoors often leads to one of our favorite things — warm, blissful sexThis is the Season for giving, after all. Giving yourself as a holiday gift to a lover is popular, but what about the single ladies? Who’ll give you the gift of orgasms? Who better than yourself? For some, being single means abstinence, but it doesn’t have to be orgasm-less! Here are some fabulous pleasure-gifting ideas to give yourself this Holiday!  Single ladies, do not fear! The gift of orgasm is coming this year!

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The Rabbit

One of the most effective toys is the dual-action vibrator, famously referred to as the “Rabbit.” Dual-actions come in many shapes and sizes – animal shapes, g-spot curved, – but they all have one thing in common: two stimulators:  the internal “shaft” that stimulates the vagina, and the clitoral arm for stimulating the clitoris – hence the name “dual-action”. A dual-action vibrator is one of the best toys for solo play as they provide the most stimulation to the most important areas, simultaneously! (My favorite dual-action, Vitality). Find the right dual-action vibrator and it could result in the best orgasm you’ve had, flying solo.

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Some women require a lot of power to reach a clitoral orgasm, whereas others can achieve clitoral orgasm from something as simple as a steady stream of water, a rumbly vibrator, or a lubricated finger.

Whichever category you fall into, you’ll find at least one option that’ll do the trick for you.

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For the Clit-O’-Steel:

For those who need intense power, a vibrating wand such as the Hitachi should be pleasurable. The Hitachi is said to be so powerful that it can bring the toughest of clitoris’ to their knees. For the clit on a budget, the cheaper wand versions also get great feedback.

For the Clit-O’-Honey

Those of us who can reach clitoral orgasm with little power (or no power, just a slippery finger) have more options to choose from. For starters, a well-lubed finger can be just as satisfying as a vibrator! Using lubricant (such as Spunk Lube) and a finger or two to slide and glide up, over and around the clitoris with stroking motions can be a perfectly orgasmic gift for a solo-gal.

singlesecretgardenCreams and Gels

For heightened stimulation, clitoral gels and creams are available that work by increasing blood flow to the genital area, and therefore increasing sensation. *Look for safe ingredients in lubes (paraben-free is ideal). My favorites are Secret Garden by Shunga and Horny Honey.

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 Showerhead Technique!

Another option for the clit-on-a-budget include this time-tested favorite. I’d almost swear the inventor of the removable showerhead must’ve been a woman with a high sex-drive! A steady stream of water makes for one awesomely orgasmic gift. If you have a removable showerhead and you haven’t already, go jump in that bathtub, girl! Lay down and experiment with the different settings while directing the flow onto your clitoris. This technique works great for the gal too stressed to orgasm since the warm water is relaxing, making it easier to focus on the… gift at hand.

For the gal without a removable showerhead:

Head to your local Bed Bath and Beyond asap! Kidding. You can position yourself under the tub faucet; legs wrapped around it, and let the stream fall onto your hot spots. 

If these steamy tips weren’t enough be sure to check out Part 2!

Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

Why One-Night Stands Aren’t All They’re Cracked Up to Be

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Let’s face it lovelies. How many of your one-night stands were successful?  By successful, I’m talking about how you felt afterwards, not how good the sex felt. Did you feel amazing? Blissful? Like you’ve created a long-lasting bond?

Okay, so the one-night-stand was all those things? Good for you, but for many of us, that probably isn’t the reality. Instead of feeling happy, perky and luminous, after a one-night stand, we often feel our worst. I’ll be the first to admit the flaws of the one-night-stand because honey, it just isn’t that fun.

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What We Get From Sex

We have sex to bond, and we bond to have sex!

  • Sex between a couple establishes and helps maintain bonding.  The more regular the sex, the closer, more long-lasting the bond.
  • Sex releases endorphins, which explains the happy-sappy feelings we get afterward.
  • Sex has been said to increase self-esteem and optimism.

But  it’s not just any sex that creates these beneficial effects.  It’s usually about who you’re sharing it with, that makes the difference.

One-night-stands are about as different as masturbation is to sex. Similar to how you might feel after masturbation — with a one-night stand, there’s no connection, bonding or blissful afterglow. Not that masturbation or one night stands aren’t enjoyable, but there’s nothing like an endearing human touch from someone you have a lasting connection with.

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Consider the main reasons we have sex

  • Chemistry  bonding and/or to express love

How can you know you have chemistry with someone you just met?  They might be attractive and mysterious, but chemistry doesn’t usually develop after a single round of drinks.

Without chemistry, can a one-night stand really be as great as sex with someone who you have a bond with?

If we don’t know our bed-buddy, how can we bond through sex?  It makes more sense to first bond by getting to know each other.

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What We Get from One-Night Stands

Feelings of being used, or being a sex object, lowered self-esteem, regrets and fears of STD’s or whether he will call you tomorrow are common after a one night stand.

Besides that, how many of us have wasted our time wondering why we weren’t good enough for him/her to have more than just one night of sex with. Are we not good enough for him to want to get to know us outside of the bedroom?  Having sex with someone who shows us his love and care, is shown to lead to the opposite of what one might feel after a one-night stand. Sex  with a caring partner usually leads to bliss, bonding, and higher self-esteem.

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Why We Bother with One-Night Stands

I’d bet that some do it with hopes of a relationship.  For others, it’s the thrill. But besides a thrill, there’s little else a one-night stands has to offer. Plus, there are plenty of ways to find thrills without putting yourself at risk for STD’s, emotional pain, regrets anger and low self-esteem.

There may be some who have had one-night stands without such experiences, but generally sex with someone we know and care about will probably leave us more fulfilled.

Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

How to Calm Cheating-Paranoia

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“Cheating paranoia” is what I like to call those moments when we (or am I alone in this, ladies?)  assume, for no reason that our partner is cheating. Those nights we spend working ourselves into a hormonal frenzy, analyzing everything that could signify a cheater. It happens almost at random, and can start from the smallest of occurrences. For example, your partner seems “off” one evening or perhaps you’ve been reading too many articles about men being naturally driven to cheat.  Your mind automatically goes on alert and the irrational thoughts pour in.  “Come to think of it, he doesn’t seem as turned on lately. It’s official! He must be cheating.” Before you know it,  a pile of fingernail shreds surround you, while you analyze every word he’s spoken and every action that might give you a clue about his “affair.”

You finally realize you’re being irrational and don’t actually have any reason to suspect him of cheating to begin with. Yet when you try to move past the thoughts and worries, they keep popping back up, begging your attention. Then, you begin to think  it’s your intuition telling you he’s cheating. And of course, a woman’s intuition is always right. Right?

That’s a perfect example of the process of cheating paranoia. You continue to entertain the worries until you’re actually tricked into thinking that there’s a possibility that you’re being cheated on. Note: Cheating paranoia is not to be confused with distrust. Cheating paranoia comes on rapidly and for no real reason,  usually manifesting after a flare of insecurities and raging hormones. Distrust is when you have cheating paranoia constantly.

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So, if you’re not the irrational, paranoid, or insecure type, then where does cheating paranoia come from?

Almost always, these two are to blame: Insecurity and hormones.

Seriously, if you suffer from cheating paranoia, keep a diary, noting the date and what you’re experiencing each time. You’ll usually find the pattern. It may become clear that cheating paranoia strikes on your worst, most hormonal days, and perhaps while feeling insecure in some way or other. All it takes is one insecurity to pop in for a visit at the same time “Mother Nature” is visiting and bam! You have a full-blown case of cheating paranoia.  Combined, hormones and insecurity can really create a monster.

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So What Can You Do?

You can’t kick your guest Mother Nature out, but for starters, you can evict insecurity

Recognize It for What it Really is

Once you realize that it’s irrational, hormones and insecurities, you may feel better knowing it’s just temporary, and that you’ll have a totally new mind-set. You may even be able to laugh at how crazy it was to believe the paranoia.

Learn to tell the difference between illogical insecurities –A.K.A Creepy Voice inside your head, and intuition – A.K.A your inner psychic ability.

Ask Yourself

Is he really cheating, or am I just paranoid? Did he do anything that really gives me reason to suspect him of cheating?

Then, compare these things:

 The ways he’s shown honesty, loyalty, and love for you versus the “signs” he’s shown of cheating. After examining these things, you may realize that the possibility of him actually cheating on you is slim. Especially after evaluating things from a non-paranoid perspective.

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Reverse it

When we entertain these thoughts, we begin to believe there’s truth in them. It’s like we think it into being true! Wouldn’t it make sense to apply that same method and reverse these horrible thoughts? Instead of letting them play out, stop them like you would an intruder in your home. After all, those thoughts are negative and false, and are like little mind-intruders. Focus on opposite thoughts – his actions of love and loyalty. This makes it easier to quell that creepy inner voice that says you’re not good enough and that he’s got someone else.

Know the Difference Between Intuition and Paranoia

If he’s getting strange phone calls at 3A.M. and refuses to answer around you, then that’s not Mr. creepy inner voice, my friend. That’s intuition. Know the difference between the two (intuition and illogical creepy voice/insecurity) and you’ll be one step ahead next time the cheating paranoia monster strikes. Over time, using these techniques and being aware of the causes helps prevent you from worrying yourself sick for no reason.

Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

10 Awesome Halloween Costumes for Couples

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Who said adults couldn’t enjoy dressing up? With Halloween right around the corner, it’s the perfect opportunity to channel your inner child by dressing up as your favorite characters, celebrities … or food items.

Being part of a couple on Halloween can mean more creative costume choices, and if you don’t have a spouse, you can always recruit a friend to be the peanut butter side of your peanut butter and jelly sandwich costume.

Rest assured that there’s a costume for every couple from the nerdy to the dirty!

Here are 10 of our a favorite of couple costumes for 2013:

A love for sweets and a crush for nerds? Got you covered!

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If you’re a cartoon-lover, you’ll have plenty popular cartoon characters to choose from including the always stylish Miss Piggy and Kermit the frog, or the old favorite Gumby. Even the well-known sea creatures SpongeBob and Patrick:

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If you are going for something a little more traditional, Cowboy and Indian is a definite winner – how cute is John Legend with his leading lady Christine Teigen!

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You can even make your dreams come true by transforming into your favorite cartoon romance – Shrek and Fiona:

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Satisfy your sweet tooth with some Milk (Nick Cannon and Cookies (Mariah Carey)!

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Do you identify with the characters in the classic comedy Juno?

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For the couples who are more into Shakespeare and not so much television, even you guys have a place in the Halloween world.

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I told you there would be something out there for the nerdy to the dirty, and I always make good on my promises. Here we have the ultimate dirty costume.

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So, now that you’ve had a dose of inspiration to get the ideas (and excitement) flowing, go forth and find your perfect couple’s Halloween costume! If you’ve no time left for last-minute costume shopping, there’s always DIY (do it yourself) versions! If you’re handy with a sewing machine, and have scrap fabric or old sheets, you might have just the tools you need to create a couple’s costume at home. If all else fails, try popping into your local re-sale or Good Will shops for last minute (and cheap) items.

Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

What it Means to be “Sex-Positive”

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Today, the term “sex-positive” has become an entire movement. “Sex-positivity” is a word often used in a positive light to describe a person or group.  It classes together opinions as either “sex-positive” or “sex-negative.”

“Sex positivity” generally refers to someone who views sex and sex education as positive. It is being in favor of healthy sex education, awareness, and an openness to talk about sex without feeling shame.

Today, I think most people would agree that healthy sex education is a positive thing for the world. I’m a firm believer in the saying “knowledge is power,” because the more we know, the more control we have.

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Results of  Sex Positivity

If we’re not ashamed to talk about sex, to educate about sex, and to get answers, we’ll  have the power to make informed decisions.

If we’re not ashamed to discuss and teach how to care for our sexual organs,  we’ll fear them less and know how to take care of ourselves without panic or ignorance. We’re taught as soon as we grow teeth how to brush them. Our downstairs should be no exception, yet many people never learn how to care for their genitals properly. Most of us are taught how to wash, yes, but what about yeast infections? How to prevent them or care for them if they occur? What about how to clean the folds, or what discharge is and what the variations can signify about our health?

We wouldn’t  worry about what STDs looks like, if we’re properly educated on the causes and symptoms.

Many teach STD education to youngsters, but not with enough information. If so perhaps the confusion over an ingrown hair (it isn’t a splinter, promise) wouldn’t be so common.

We wouldn’t worry if pregnancy can result from oral sex, if we’re taught what causes pregnancy and what doesn’t.

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How many sex education classes teach that other part of sex – non-consensual intercourse? The part that happens at least every 2 minutes in the U.S. according to the R.A.I.I.N. Network (which I’d confidently say is a gross understatement considering the sexual assaults that go unreported.) What about the part that saying no means no at any time? The part that forcing yourself on a non-compliant person is a bad thing?

In that light, many label ourselves as “sex-positive” because we want to be fully educated on these things, and want the same for our kids.

Sex-positivity simply means embracing and enjoying ourselves as sexual beings.

Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

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