5 Reasons Women Go Back to Their Exes

We’ve all had a bad breakup, or two, or fifty. We’ve heard our girlfriends (or ourselves) express hatred for the monstrous ex to anyone who will listen. Of course we hate him. He broke our heart!

But vehemently hating our ex, is a clue that we’re probably still in love.

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Ever noticed how once we get over it – the anger, the sadness – we no longer feel the urge to share how much we hate him? That’s because we’re over him, the anger, the fake hate, and over being in love.

During the process of “hating” him, we didn’t stop loving him and we know it. We know while we’re screaming that we hate him (and prefer him castrated for breaking our heart), we still love him, because you can’t just flip the turn-off-love button.

This isn’t a women’s-only thing, either. Men do it, too. The key is deciphering if we’re expressing anger by claiming to hate our ex, or if we’re just still in love.

Now, let’s go over three reasons women take their exes back

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1. There’s the obvious —  you still love him, despite the ugly breakup. So when he asks to see you, you hit your wardrobe like you’ve been invited to walk the red carpet.

Why? Because you’ve been suffering from Breakup-Syndrome for however long, and when you get an inkling that he’ll take you back, you’re ready to drop the suffering just to make that pain go away — which would mean taking him back – even if you know it’ll end badly again.

Taking the pain away and feeling happy again, even if for only a while sounds worth it to you. Hey, you can always go through the pain of breaking up again after you’ve been the happy reunited couple for a while. That’s called procrastination.

The good news is, if it ends badly again, it seems easier since you knew it was inevitable.

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2. Or perhaps the breakup left you two with unfinished business. You feel like you didn’t finish things the way you wanted to. We go into this with a mindset that we can either turn things around and make it work, or we have this subconscious desire to end it our way, on our own timing. Then, the process would be easier on us, so we think.

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3. It could be my last chance for love! I must fix things or else I may never find “love” again. Besides, it’s better than being alone forever, right?

Don’t fool yourself and fall into  thinking you’ll never find love again. It isn’t too late. No, you aren’t getting too old for love. You aren’t running out of time. While this is a top reason we go back to exes, it shouldn’t  be enough of a reason to go back. Instead of thinking it’s your last chance at love, try imagining that taking your  ex back could cause you to lose out on your actual “soul-mate.”

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4. Security. Whether it’s financial or you just don’t feel safe and secure being alone. It’s hard to break because fear such as this is often deeply ingrained within us. If you have an on-again- off-again relationship that’s damaging, you’ll feel like a brand new woman when you’re ready and free enough to break the shackles that bond you so tightly to another person.

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5. You don’t want to be lonely. You can’t stand it. It’s so scary it hurts, that old enemy, being alone.  So getting back with him is much better than being alone, you think. Being in an unhealthy relationship is damaging you more than the feeling of being alone and lonesome does. So, the key would be to choose your sanity and health, and instead of continuing a bad relationship just to avoid being alone, work on channeling that energy into your health and well-being. That is when you’ll stumble onto an equally healthy person who you could possibly have a relationship with – one that isn’t damaging.

Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

End Your Summer with a Twist of Adventure

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If you’re like me,  Summer gives your mind, body and ahem… crotch a new found energy. If you’re like my significant other, Winter gives you a cold nose and warm heart – or is that my dog? Kidding. Despite liking opposite seasons, we always find ways to make our time together fun and exciting.  Here are three ways to finish up the warm weather with your love muffin. These ideas may sound like your “typical” relationship advice, but of course we have an exciting spin to end your summer with sparks!

Create Something Together

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Beading isn’t his thing?  I’ll bet you’d both have fun with a blow torch and those old glass wine bottles lying around (Disclaimer – this should only be done with safety and caution).

Go outside with wine glasses in tote, rock the safety glasses, and fire up that blowtorch. Find safe tutorials online that show you how you can mold glass and have a blast creating something special with your honey. This project will surely be a thrilling couples experience.

Spend Quality Time Together

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You’ve been told that, as a couple, you guys should “spend quality time together.”

My partner and I spend a while each day together with our favorite drinks/snack.  While this sounds  typical, it’s actually a great  bonding experience, and beats watching TV. Most couples start their mornings off having coffee together. Try spending your evenings like this. It gives you a chance to talk about your day… the good, the bad, and the ugly. Your own personal therapist 🙂

Try Something New and Improved. And Bacon

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You’ve read that one before, too, right? Only this puts a spin on it: Forget trying a new wine or a new brand of tomato sauce. Try outrageous! Go to Sonic  and order the bacon and peanut butter milkshake. Do it, for the love of bacon.

No Sonic?  Make your own.  Or try Seaweed. My partner and I have done both, and what a gagging blast it was!  The bacon/peanut butter shake is delicious. Bacon is a turn on, perhaps an aphrodisiac, there’s a lube to prove it! Overall, there’s something about trying new and wild things together that’s thrilling and bonding.

As for  upcoming Winter months, I don’t know what to tell you. I guess you’ll have to take up knitting.  As grandma as it may sound, my partner and I really bond over arts and crafts. I’ve yet to get him to knit with me, but my fabulous bead collection – mostly his picks and finds. Don’t even get me started on my wardrobe, you guessed it — his picks and finds. Can’t go wrong with a man who has style, right?

Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

The Journey to Great Sex Part 2

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Last week we brought you the first installment on how to spice up the bedroom in any relationship. If you recall – the little pearl that brings the ultimate stimulation, the birthday suit is the best, don’t stop, and doggy style with a hint of romance. Mostly these tips require trust, openness, and honesty. This week we have the remaining 5 tips for great sex!

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Sound Effects

Don’t be silent during the act. Believe it or not, men usually find moans and groans encouraging. When he kisses, licks or does something you enjoy, let him know you’re into it. You don’t have to force it or scream, but don’t stifle the moans and groans that express your pleasure. Same goes for men – we like hearing it!

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Dirty Talk 

“Yeah boy I like it, yeah boy I like it. Love it when you talk that talk to me.” Rihanna didn’t make the song for no reason.  Let’s be honest lovelies bedroom talk is the best! Much like sound effects, let the dirty words roll off your tongue, its reinforcing to your partner and invigorates the two of you.

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A Little Humor, Please?

Humor is allowed in the bedroom, mostly. Say an awkward slip happens; it’s totally acceptable to laugh. Recalling that funny cat commercial, and laughing hysterically in the middle of the act is not. Funny laugh-out-loud moments doing the deed are sometimes bonding. Laughing also releases tension, if there is any.

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Your Cervix May Have Another Use

Explore the joys of cervical stimulation, but do so with care because not all women enjoy it. If you’re one who does, you can have a whole ‘nother world of fun.

Tip: To find out if cervical stimulation is for you, start by practicing alone by gently using a toy to reach the cervix. There are certain times of the month when it can result in discomfort or even pain, so exercise caution and patience.

If you’ve already learned that cervical stimulation is your thing, try sharing the news with your lover. Knowing there’s another organ that could bring you pleasure is thrilling and believe me, he’ll be excited to try.

Helpful positions for cervical stimulation include: Sex standing up, him behind you and leaning just slightly, with your hands resting on a bed or table. Don’t go full-blown doggy-style position, but more of a slanted one. This is an excellent way to reach the cervix, and it allows gentle, but firm stimulation. For more intense stimulation, try lying on your back, your bum at the edge of the bed with him standing up, between your legs. Rest your legs on his shoulders and lift up, slightly.

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Bring Bob (your battery operated buddy) along, if your partner doesn’t mind.

If you’re both familiar with, and enjoy toys, next time you buy one, tell your lover about your purchase and how the two of you can explore its abilities together. The anticipation of playing with your new battery operated buddy will have  you both aroused.

As a last note, it seemed necessary to say this: Never, under any circumstance put her breasts in your mouth and say “ga-ga” or “ma-ma.” Ever.

Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

 

The Journey to Great Sex

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Sex is all about the connection between you and your partner. Do you trust each other? Are you open to try new things? Are you willing to be honest and learn from each other? These are all important qualities for implementation of the following tips to great sex! Grab your partner and read along!

You Can’t Go Wrong With the Clitoris

The clitoris is a reliable way to elicit arousal. Your best chances lie within that tiny little pearl. For most women, it’s easier to orgasm through clitoral stimulation than penetration. With 8,000 nerve endings packed into something the size of a pencil eraser, it’s no wonder clitoral orgasm is favored. Just remember, gentleness is key. Rough, direct contact to the clitoris, without lubricant feels like sand paper on an open wound. So exercise gentleness, please.

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Take a Risk, Bare it All

Standing with the covers wrapped tightly around you as if you’re in your gynecologist’s office creates tension. Remember, he wants to see you or he wouldn’t be there. Better yet, if he didn’t want to explore and ogle your beautiful nakedness, you shouldn’t give him that luxury, anyway. Refusing your lover a glimpse of your body sends the message that you don’t want to be there and your lover might wonder if you’re even turned on by them. Don’t hesitate to let them know.

Tip: Compliments are powerful tools, and remember, it’s not a women’s-only worry. Men feel insecurities, too so let’s make a pact to complement each other and encourage each other’s nudity! Remember to complement each other throughout the day as well as during and after sex.

Bottom line: If you can muster up the nerve, try on your birthday suit, just once, you can guarantee whether or not your partner is turned on by you. If you can’t, then at least make a promise to work on your self-image. Another promise, everything’s more fun naked (as long as it’s legal).

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 Don’t Stop

Juliet Richters, Ph. D., author of “Doing it Down Under” took a survey from  19,000+ people where 52% of women said they’ve made a guy stop in the middle of foreplay — including oral stimulation — because they were afraid of taking too long. Speaking from personal experience, the worry of taking too long does hinder orgasm. Had my partner not been diligent and reassuring, I would have far fewer orgasms. On the bright side, there are ways to speed up arousal. Contrary to popular thoughts, quick tongue movements won’t speed up her arousal/orgasm. In fact, they’ll do the opposite. While every girl, but fast licks only numb the clitoris. Slow, gentle movements, on the other hand, can speed up “O” time significantly. So, guys, take your time to bring her to the good stuff and let her know. Ladies reassure your partner that he can stop you any time, although it’s unlikely that he will take you up on that offer.

Tip: Gentle massaging of the clitoris before engaging in oral foreplay gets the blood flowing quicker. So, when you swap your hand/finger/vibrator for oral, you skip the first few minutes it takes to get the sucker to respond, and therefore you’ll get your “Big-Bang” quicker.

If you can’t bring yourself to dine south of the border (I know, lack of classy words), then be upfront about it. Nobody wants someone down there who’s resentful the entire time.

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Doggy-Style with a Side of Romance

During the position crudely deemed “doggy-style,” romance, isn’t a word that comes to mind, but it’s quite sensational, nonetheless. To put an intimate twist to this impersonal position, place your hand under her chin, and look into her eyes for a second – it shows you’re interested in more than just her lower half. Kiss the tip of her shoulder and then the small of her back to remind that you care.

Tip: The more bodily contact, the better, so don’t limit your hands to her hips. Run your fingers down her spine… and elsewhere!

Enjoy these tips this week and check back next week for Part 2 of Great Sex for Two!

Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

 

Could Love Have the Power to Heal?

Each of us know, without a doubt that love is, indeed a powerful thing. Whether it is love from a best friend, pet or a spouse, the benefits are noteworthy. In fact, it is probably the most powerful emotion ingrained within us – studies suggests that love may even be powerful enough to heal.

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Time Love Heals All Wounds

We already knew love had this wild ability to turn us into romantically sappy insomniacs, but studies have shown that love has even more power than that. For instance, one study showed that wounds heal faster when acts of love and kindness have been exchanged.

Just think of how great we feel when we’re down or sick and have a loved one(s) by our side to show us some TLC. You have to admit, there is a significant difference in how we feel when a loved one is supporting us through a painful experience.

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Love Lowers Blood Pressure and Increases Survival Odds

In 2008, Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a Brigham Young University Professor and Psychologist found that happily married couples had lower levels of blood pressure than other individuals – including unhappily married people whose results showed blood pressure levels were increased. Holt-Lunstad and Timothy Smith also found that people who have very close ties — not necessarily to a spouse — but other loved ones as well — showed improved odds of survival by fifty percent.

Researchers at Penn State’s College of Medicine and Brigham Young University found that being married (happily, of course) also improves your odds of surviving colon cancer. The study showed that married patients had a 14 percent lower risk of death — the estimate based on an analysis of 127, 753 patient records.

Other studies have shown that people in love tend to be struck less often by “the common cold.” The happy emotions associated with being in love is more than likely the reason for the health benefits that come with love. As most of us know, a more positive, happy-go-lucky gal tends not to get sick as often as a person who is, say, negative, angry, depressed or anxious often. This reminds us that happiness really does play a role in good health, but also that having a happy, healthy relationship can boost our health.

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The Healing Chemical

The hormone Oxytocin — aka the “love hormone,” isn’t just that surge of bliss you feel during, say, an orgasm or amazing dessert. Oxytocin is known to increase healing whether it’s emotional, mental or physical. It is also responsible for the “feely-goods” we get from certain activities such as giving to others, showing and receiving kindness and affection. That warm, fuzzy, “all-is right-in-the world” feeling we get when our partner surprisingly grabs hold of us and doesn’t let go – we can thank our buddy Oxytocin for that feeling!

This is not to say that unmarried folks are not as healthy or that they should go out and force a relationship, but is just to remind ourselves that the power that love is infinite and can be used to our advantage.

Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

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