Sit back, Relax, Enjoy

Sometimes you have to be patient and wait for the things you want but other times things are just given to you, even when you’re not ready for them, my recommendation sit back, relax and enjoy the ride because the view just might be beautiful…

The three A of Apologies and Behavior Change:

We often make mistakes and are quick to say sorry without taking time to reflect on what we did wrong and how we can keep from doing it again.  The next time you find yourself in the red with another person try following these three steps:

1.    Acknowledge what you did wrong. “I’m sorry” is sometimes our automatic response when we see someone is upset. An empty apology can make situations worse and often contributes to repeat offenses. The next time someone is upset with you take time to reflect on the situation and acknowledge what you have done wrong.

2.     Apologize for your actions and the impact they have had on other people. Once you realize your faults in a situation, make a mends with the person by apologizing to them. Having a specific apology about what you have done to hurt someone else helps the other person see that you understand their pain, opens the lines of communication, and helps you to pin point exactly the behavior that needs to change in order to not repeat your wrong doings.

3.     Action Plan Come up with an action plan about how you will change your behavior so not to repeat the same mistakes. All too often we recognize what we have done and apologize for it but find ourselves making the same mistake because we didn’t take the time to plan out how we will act differently in the future. The mistakes we make are often a force of habit. It takes thought and action plans in order to make behavior changes. 

Two steps back, Four Steps Forward

Sometimes we are headed full speed in one direction in life. We think everything is going perfect. We have a plan and are putting it into action. But, just when life couldn’t get any better, it gets worse (or so we think). Something the unexpected happens which derails our plans. We don’t get the promotion at work, we weren’t accepted into the school of our choice, we break up with a long time mate, or don’t relocate to the place we wanted. These hiccups in our plans can be devastating to us because we thought we had it all planned out.

In these moments when our realities do not meet our expectations we have a few choices:

1. Stay stuck in the mud thinking of all the “if’s” and “what should have”, “could have”, and “would have” but didn’t.  Though we all need our moments to deal with the fact that we have experienced a set back, we cannot ruminate for too long, lest we become stuck in that season. These are the people who are often unsatisfied with life and tend to loom in their past unrealized dreams. The sorrow of regret becomes their life and it gets hard to get out of the disappointment.

What we should do is:

2. Accept what life has thrown our way, using this time to reflect, learn all that we can from what has transpired, and move in the direction where life takes us. No it doesn’t feel good to feel like we failed but it is our failures that often push us to success. Sometimes the set back is what we need to pull us from the road we were traveling, that looked nice and scenic but was really heading in the wrong direction. Set backs allow us time to regroup and can position us right where we need to be.

Reorganizing the way we think about set backs will allow us to see that life is full of the unexpected and it is precisely this that often gets us to where we are supposed to be. Setbacks are difficult but don’t let them hold you back. Instead take from them the rich lessons they offer and realize that sometimes it takes two steps back in order to take four steps forward. 

Love Yourself

How to keep your New Year’s Resolution!


65% of Americans pledge to lose weight/get healthy in the New Year.  What many of us fail to realize is that this resolution has to occupy patience. A healthy lifestyle is not something that can be achieved overnight, thus because of the slow results we tend to give up on this goal too quickly. So, let’s start slow! Listed below are ways to work towards achieving this objective in 2012.

1. Eat Breakfast- Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Not only will it motivated you to stop hitting the snooze button (ahh food!) but it gives you the energy need for your workouts.

2. Take The Stairs- Start doing little things to get your body working and blood pumping. Park far away to walk to your destination, take the stairs as opposed to the elevator, or for my fashion-addicts go shopping!

3. Find a Buddy- Search for a friend with the same goal as you. They will provide the competitive spirit, motivation, and peer pressure to continue to work towards success.

Happy Healthy UBLifestyle!

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