It’s Not You, It’s … Your I-Phone!

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Could  Your I-Phone Be to Blame for Your Failed Relationships?

It’s no surprise that cell phone usage is now touted as an addiction —  “nomophobia,” which is probably short for “no-mobile-phobia.” Cell phone addiction stories are now frequently making the news. Researchers and prominent scholars have been speaking up about the dangers for some time now. Even the Telegraph quoted Dr. James Roberts, of Baylor’s Hankamer School of Business stating that cell phones are “eroding our personal relationships.”

Even more interesting, the Telegraph noted that “previous studies,” (such as one done by the  Journal of Behavioural Addictions)  showed that young adults check their phone about 60 times a day. Guess how many times the average person smiles per day? About 40-50, sometimes more, and obviously sometimes less. But the point is that most of us use our phones more than we smile. That’s a serious problem!

It’s already been established that electronics emit harmful radiowaves, and one study (although small, but relevant enough to heed the information found) showed that cell phone usage is linked with erectile dysfunction (E.D). The study found that men with E.D. carried cell phones significantly longer than those who use theirs for under 2 hours daily.  Unfortunately, men who simply carry their phones around for 4+ hours a day are more likely to suffer from impotence than those who use theirs for under 2 hours a day. What’s more is that if you’re trying for a bouncing new baby, your phone isn’t on your side. A study found that cell phones have “an impact on sperm quality, including sperm morphology and sperm motility.” In other words sperm’s quality, quickness and the sperm’s appearance/structure was decreased in all 4 patients when cell-phone usage was increased.

Well just cut down the time we’re on our phones right?  It seems it’s not that easy for us to ditch our phones. Obviously having your nose buried in anything (other than your lover) is a mood-killer, and sometimes downright rude, depending on the moment. These questionarre results alone should be enough to emphasize the extent of this issue. A study done by AVG Technologies stated that 57% of US women would rather give up sex for a week over their iphones. Men answered a differently — they won’t give up sex for their iphones, but  new girlfriends? Nah,  who needs those? Just slap that shiny electronic in their hands. Perhaps what we actually need is iphone rehab instead of intervention?

Is that not enough to make you want to throw that iphone out the window? So, how about we all make a habit to “switch-off” for as long as our lives will allow each day. Just think, if we switch off our electronics for, say, 2 hours a day while spending time with our lovers, we may have the odds in our favor of filling our love cups and also of lessening our health risks, which are not in favor of our healthy sex lives, apparently. Who can honestly say no to that?

Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

The Perfect Date Night for National Chocolate Chip Day

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When you and your special companion celebrate a holiday, what is it that makes it so special? Is it the fact that you are together, shutting out the world and tuning out all distractions ? Well, when May 15th arrives, you can find another reason to do just that! National Chocolate Chip Day is a day to celebrate that sweet sensation found in many of our favorite pastries, such as cookies, pancakes, bagels, brownies, muffins, and much more. What better way to celebrate this sweet holiday than to bake a delicious batch of chocolate chip cookies or try a new chocolate chip dessert with your significant other?

Start the day off with a romantic getaway to the grocery store together. Doesn’t sound fun but shopping as a couple can be quite enjoyable – you just have to make it that way. Peruse the aisle with your beau to find just the right ingredients for a sexy night in doors with your favorite sensual ingredient. A hint of whipped cream and strawberries may be just the right ingredients to add to a sexy night of chocolate. Before going to the store try checking out Pinterest or IG for a chocolate dessert that will set the right mood for your evening.

When you arrive home set the tone with a romantic playlist and begin the adventure of making your chocolate delight together. Now is the time to be hands on with your dessert and your partner so don’t be shy. While you’re preparing the dessert sneak a bite or two – your beau included. Once the dessert is prepared to bake, head to the shower to cool off. After letting off some steam wear your partner’s favorite bedtime attire and hit the dining room to have a sweet chocolate night.

Elevate the mood by changing the music to something sultry. If you’re an old fashion music lover try crooners, such as Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Louis Armstrong, and Bing Crosby, for a number of slow dance songs. Songs such as ‘In My Life’ & ‘Something’ by The Beatles, ‘Memories of You’ & ‘Girl in My Dreams’ by The Four Lovers (the band that became The Four Seasons), and ‘My Girl’ by The Temptations are sure to put you both in a feel good mood. Make the kitchen your dance floor and whisk your beau off his or her feet for a magical night of dancing. And we haven’t even gotten to the dessert yet.

For a dance break, set out the dessert with your favorite sweet wine in a candle lit room facing a window for a a perfect view of the city. Be sure to sit next to your partner so you can feed each other the savory chocolate treat. Take in all the sweet sensations from the music titillating your eardrums, to the beautiful cityscape, the taste of sweet chocolate on your tongue, the smell of chocolate mixed with your partner’s natural fragrance, and the the warm touch of your beau. Each sensation will make the mood that much more magical. You can heat up the night by popping in one of your favorite romantic films and cuddling on the couch together with your edible creation – let the night take you away. That is one sweet treat that is tough to beat! Happy National Chocolate Chip Day, everyone!

Z.M. Wise is a poet/writer, assistant editor/co owner of an international publishing press, poetry activist, student, full time worker, voice actor, old soul/old fashioned romantic, animal lover/animal rights supporter, lover of fitness, and more. For one year, he has been giving free love/dating/relationship advice to help as many women as possible, whether the question is about the relationship itself, how to get over a breakup, how to be a better person, and everything in between. His theory is that love is so vast and unlimited that it has no definition. There are a large number of awful relationships and it is his genuine pleasure to help and try to decrease that number in nearly any means necessary. All he asks in return is that the advice works in the long run. His motto in life contains two simple, but powerful words: POETRY LIVES!! He will make sure it remains vibrant for the rest of his days and beyond. Love, like poetry, shall live on. After all, it is what we live for.

Over 30, Single, and Childless

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I never believed in the concept of a biological clock. I always resented the idea of it and believed it to be yet another derogatory term thrown at women to make us feel inadequate, desperate, and needy – similar to way that the term PMS (another concept I don’t believe in) has been used.  However, my refusal to acknowledge its existence came to head almost immediately after I turned 30. I was newly single, fresh out of a long-term relationship, and with no prospects in sight. Not that I was looking. I enjoyed my return into singledom and although I joked about being “old”, I welcomed the new decade wholeheartedly. I’d never been so sure of who I was as a woman and what I wanted out of life. I knew I was entering quite possibly the best phase of my life, but I would be remiss if I didn’t say that a different feeling also overcame me. I was 30, single, and childless.

I began to hear the ominous ticking of my biological clock six months after my entrance into club 30. It was last year’s Mother’s Day and as typical with every Mother’s Day, someone had absentmindedly wished me a happy one, as if my being a woman of a certain age automatically meant that I was a mother. My awkward yet polite rejection of this person’s expression of gratitude had triggered a feeling I had never before felt. All of sudden that day transitioned from one in which I celebrated how awesome a mother I had to one that reminded me how I was not returning that awesomeness to any children of my own. All I kept thinking was I’ll be 31 years old in six months; 31, single and childless. And now as this year’s Mother’s Day quickly approaches, the thought has popped into my mind yet again. Only this time I’ll be 32 in six months, still single and still very much childless.

I know. 32 is hardly old and although my clock is ticking away, I’m not too stressed about it. I would love to have children but I wouldn’t be devastated if it doesn’t happen. Still, I must admit that with each passing year, the ticks are getting louder and they’re usually the loudest around Mother’s Day. This year is certainly no different. So as Mother’s Day approaches, I thought about what a single, childless 30-something woman is supposed to do on a day that makes you feel a little alienated or perhaps even a bit inadequate.

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I recently came across Savvy Auntie, a lifestyle brand solely dedicated for the childless yet maternal woman, either by circumstance or by choice. Its founder, Melanie Notkin, developed an acronym for these women called PANK, or Professional Aunt No Kids. Contrary to its name, PANK does not just refer to biological aunts, but is inclusive of all women who have chosen to participate in the lives of children who may or may not be of relation. While they are not mothers themselves, PANKS are nonetheless maternal in their love and care for the children in their lives. I immediately took on the title.

As I caroused through the Savvy Auntie’s website, I realized that being a PANK isn’t so bad. It surely has all the perks of being a mom without actually being one. PANKS deal with the fun stuff like my favorite: spending a day of sugar-filled fun with your favorite kiddies while mom deals with the not-so-fun stuff that happens when you return them home. Still there is no doubt that while being a PANK is great, there are also times when it can be difficult – including Mother’s Day.

Ironically, it was a childless woman named Anna Jarvis who founded Mother’s Day in the early 1900’s. Her idea of the day was not limited to celebrating women who had bore children, as it is today, but also to those who played the role of “mother” in whatever way allowed them. Stepmothers, godmothers, and aunts, like herself, were recognized. So in honor of Anna Jarvis, this Mother’s Day I will not only celebrate the awesomeness of mothers worldwide, I will also celebrate my fellow PANKS who deserve some love too, just as Anna envisioned.

Tamara Jenkins is a real Jersey girl. She’s independent, opinionated, and loves her sports. When she’s not watching her favorite teams, she’s reading, practicing yoga or working on a few books she hopes will get published one day. She also may or may not be training for a 5k race. With a belief that life is what you make of it, Tamara doesn’t merely want to survive life; she wants to live it.

Breakup Lines

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Anyone who has ever been on the receiving side of a breakup knows it’s not always the easiest. One minute you might be blissfully enjoying a relationship or steadily dating and the next moment your hearing the worst news of the day. Whenever your blindsided with a breakup it can leave you feeling confused. You might ruminate on “the talk” dissecting each word to figure out what is going on? We thought we’d help you out with translating breakup lines – what do they mean?

It’s not you it’s me

Translation: Classic right? He or she may be trying to find a “nice” way to break things off by shifting the burden on them self saying that they have the problem. Bottom line is that it probably is them – not liking you.

I need to focus on (insert subject…school, work etc.)

Translation: Many of us may be busy professionals, but for any ambitious person when won’t you be busy? In this day and age you make time for what you want. Point is they just don’t want to make time for you.

I’m just going through a lot of stuff right now

Translation: If they actually are going through difficult times they just aren’t interested in having you there to support. It might be they don’t feel close enough to you or they might be embarrassed. Either way they are making a choice to exclude you from their hardship, which is telling.

The chemistry is gone

Translation: The things that brought you together are no longer doing its job. You used to laugh and joke, perhaps you don’t have these good times anymore. Instead of working through the dulls in the relationship s/he would rather let the relationship fade away when the chemistry fizzles down. Maybe the relationship you had wasn’t all that special in the first place.

You’ve changed

Translation: Your beau might be saying that the way you treated him or her before getting serious is what made him or her fall for you in the first place. Perhaps you’ve gotten too comfortable and don’t do the special things you did before. Once you get a partner you also have to put in the effort to keep him or her – often times it starts with maintaining the good works you put in to get serious in the first place.

If you’re interested in more translation read Male lies and Female lies. We break down each’s communication – what is he or she really saying? You have to read to find out!

He’s Just Not Into You

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In this golden age of technology and the growing popularity of social networks – both take a great deal away from face-to-face interaction, so much so that it’s easy to get lost in translation; at least in terms of being courted and doing the courting. Several dating websites promote themselves as  offering a convenient method of meeting a potential beau with preferance-sorting features for the best match. However, even if you find a great date – or two – there remains a tricky part: social interaction.
I once went on a blind date with a young woman who was completely out of the range of my standards. At first sight of her, I knew, but I figured I’d give it a chance since I had requested the date. When she spoke I realized the gaps in our conversational patterns were almost inexcusable. Long story short, she concluded the “date” by offering to, “pop her [beep] for a real [beep]”. I had to decline. All of this could have been avoided had we both done a little research and she payed attention to conversational ques and subjects that expressed my lack of interest.
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From a guy’s perspective, when rejection is on the winds, we can be annoyingly smug and casual; especially if we feel as though we have the upperhand or something to gain from keeping the target around. In this situation, she may typically get blunt and brief declining responses such as, “I’m busy”, “I was out with the guys”, or “I didn’t have time”. If they’re polite, they may even concoct flowery excuses around such situations. About 78% of the time, these excuses are fraudulent. The tell-tale sign of one of these leading to rejection is the lack of follow-up. An interested guy who uses one of these excuses legitimately, would eventually make time.
In my experience, I have encountered similar tactics from the ladies. Traditionally, I apply a one-strike policy. On a few occasions, however, my interest got the best of me, I wanted to see how they would avoid the interaction, or I thought that there was still hope beyond their evasive manuevers. In my younger days, I saw the need for my one-strike policy when I was ensnared in the infamous “Friend Zone” (Twilight theme plays). Because of its efficiency, I highly recommend it for both sexes.It’s a tough world out there people. With terms like “thirsty” being passed around to describe affectionate and interested gentlemen and egos blinding everyone, it’s immensely difficult to play the courting game fairly. Do not dismay, though. In my experience, miracles have been born from the most unlikeliest of circumstances. Keep your heads up readers and don’t be afraid to get in the game.
Written by Greg Jones
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