Top 3 Reasons to Date Older Men

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Ever wonder when you see a young woman with a man 10 to 20 years her senior? “Why,” you might ask. Some may even shake their heads,”I just don’t get it” or worse, “she’s just with him for his money.” Sound familiar? So what is the deal when a younger woman is in a relationship or dates an older man?

Here are 3 reasons U Blush thinks some women date up – age wise that is!

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Older and Wiser

Due to sheer time, older men usually have more experience in the dating and relationship area, meaning they have already experienced the highs and lows of relationships. Hopefully they have learned from their mistakes and won’t repeat them with you. It also means they have more to offer you in regards to life decisions such as finance, career, and of course, making relationships work. If you’re with the right man, following his lead may take you just where you’ve always wanted to be. This doesn’t mean he has to be paternalistic or that you can’t have your own voice – it’s just the opposite! You both can balance each other out. If he is secure enough to be open to listening to you without feeling undermined by your intelligence, together you can make the best decisions for the both of you.

An Affair to Remember

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Along with older and wiser, you may find that he treats you better than you have ever been treated before – adding a spark of romance. Put simply he’s not into playing games, recognizes a good woman, and treats her as such. He may not have always been a gentleman so he may take on the attitude, “been there done that.” Being a player probably faded with the 90’s or early 2000’s, so he calls it like he sees it, meaning he is ready to treat you not as number one but his only one. And if he’s not, he’s probably bold enough to tell you – putting the ball into your court. Either way you know where he stands and what he is looking for. From there you can make an informed decision about what you would like to do.

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Stability and Security

Yes, we are in the 21st century and women can take care of themselves but, does that mean chivalry is dead? Some of us still like to feel safe and secure with a man. We want to feel taken care of and know that our beau can protect and provide. Financial security, though important,  is just one aspect of this. Additionally, the right man provides comfort emotionally, knowing that when you need support you can always count on him to be there. An older man has had time to grow and mature and with that comes a sense of security in himself which transfers to you and your relationship. Many contemporary women go above and beyond in their relationships, and often times we are looking for a man to do the same, whether that is in time, effort, emotional support, intellectual stimulation, excitement, adventure, and sexual pleasure. Perhaps, with a man who has had more years of experience, his ability to meet these needs are already existent – no need to make him into the man you want, he already is who he will be. If this is true, it’s up to you to decide if this is what you want and need, the information to decide is right in front of you.

Of course every woman’s motives differ and all older men aren’t the same, but in general these are some patterns we’ve noticed. What do you think lovelies? Share your thoughts! Why do you think women date older men?

Let Go, Let Flow

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As contemporary professional stylistas we spend hours on end turning our dreams into reality, but what about the rest of life? What about having fun, enjoying the company of friends, enjoying the moment? What about dating? As much as we would like to say that we don’t have time, we know we always make time for what’s important. I’d venture to say that while we may hate to admit it, “Love and Relationships” are important.

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Rejection and fear are two of the main culprits when it comes to avoiding the world of dating. We dive deep into our studies and careers and pretend as though success is the only thing that matters. This is not to say that as women we should not be driven or focused, but one of the luxuries we are gifted with is our ability to multitask . Why not use it?! So Lovelies, take a step away from the computer, pull out your favorite red lip, RiRi Woo if you will, slip on your 6 inches heels, a sexy bodycon dress and hit the town!

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Life is too short not to live it to the fullest and dating is a part of that. The good old days are long gone, we have to get out there and be present. No man is going to find you if you are home sitting on the couch eating popcorn alone, watching the notebook. Be courageous and adventures – enter the world of dating head on! Now I’m not saying you have to hit the club scene or random coffee shop, to meet and greet – find settings you feel comfortable in and just aim to have a good time! Dating is what you make it. A good friend of mine recently told me to enter ever situation with an open mind set instead of a fixed one. A fixed mind set create limits, where as a one of growth opens you up to the world. Open up Lovelies, let go and let flow – the world is your oyster!

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

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Those 3 words are magical – I love you. The first time a beau utters them is a cherished moment. Though love is a feeling, an intense emotional state, it is too a verb and it requires action. L-o-v-e is thrown around, but often times behavior don’t match up. This may leave a contemporary professional stylista wondering, “does he love me?” Here are 4 ways that may clue you in to whether your beau loves you or loves you – or not.

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Consistency – He follows through with his word. Let’s be honest ladies, your word is bond, and if you don’t have it what have you got? A partner that is consistent, someone you can count on to always be there and to do what he says he will do is important and a sign that he cares.

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Interest – He shows interest in you and everything you do. When a person genuinely wants to know about your life, he truly cares, if he didn’t he wouldn’t bother to ask. If your beau wants to hear even the most minute and boring details of your day or your life, this may be his way of showing you that you matter.

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Time – Time is golden. A man that gives you his time is telling you that you are important and valuable to him. Know your worth Lovelies.

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Compassionate – A man that loves you will handle you with care and compassion. He will take into account your feelings and treat you will respect. He will speak in love and kindness and even when you disagree or he hurts your feelings he will come back to apologize.

If a beau loves you, the most important thing might very well be that he shows you. What do you think Lovelies? How can you tell your beau loves you?

Kiss and Tell

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For those of us in the dating stage, it’s all about meeting people, going out, getting to know others, and just having fun. One person may be in heavy rotation one week and the next week they might be benched- that is just the way dating goes. This begs the question – when is it okay to become intimate with a beau? For some of us it can weigh quite heavy on our heart. Should I kiss on the first date? Is casual sex okay? Can I be intimate with more than one person?
These types of questions can often get swept under the rug but the truth is we contemplate them often when we are in the dating stage. We may turn to our friends, family, or our faith for answers – and of course U Blush. While gathering data from multiple sources is great, at the end of the day we are the ones making the final decision – after all it’s just you and your date when implementing the decision comes it to play. Intimacy is ultimately a choice each contemporary, professional stylista must make but here are questions you may want to consider when making a decision.
  1. What are my personal morals and values?
  2. How comfortable am I with this person?
  3. Will this person be around next week – does the answer to this matter to me?
  4. How many other people am I dating?
  5. What will it mean if I do become physical?
  6. What do I want out of dating?
  7. What do I want from this person?
  8. What does this person want from me?
Dating can come with a lot of decisions. To us, the most important thing is knowing yourself and what you’re comfortable with. What works for you may not fit another person and vice versa, but guess what that’s okay. There’s nothing worse than making a decision without fully thinking it through or one in which you might later regret. So lovelies, how do you decide? Go ahead and leave a comment! We are all a part of the U Blush Family, so it is okay to “Kiss and Tell.”

5 Things Men Notice When They Meet a Woman

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A contemporary, professional stylista in the “dating phase” might wonder, “what do men think of me when we meet?” In the world of dating presentation is everything, especially when you first meet a potential love interest. You are a brand and when you go out in the world everything you do is a representation of such. Think of all the corporations who have branded themselves so that upon seeing their logo or hearing a slogan – for better or worse – an image of what it represents comes to mind.

Take vehicles for instance, when you hear Mercedes Benz you might think luxury or class. When you hear Honda you might think reliable and long lasting. And of course we know vehicles that may not have such positive images. This is exactly how “love interests” think of you. When someone sees you and says your name what comes to mind – perhaps intelligent, beautiful, or supportive? It all depends on your brand and the image that you convey. This isn’t to scare you but to empower you and remind you that you dictate how a man or woman treats you based on how you treat yourself.

Here are 5 things a man notices when he meets a woman:

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Appearance – Your attire, hair, and makeup says a lot about you. A guy will often judge you based on what he sees – particularly when you first meet. In the first minutes of any interaction a guy may use your appearance to categorize you so be aware of how you craft your look!

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Conversation – Can you speak well? What do you talk about? Do you go for his sexual bait, or steer clear – perhaps you are witty and put him in his place. The content of your conversation often cues a man to how serious he might take you. What do you talk about?

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Body Language– Your nonverbal cues speak for themselves. Are you confident in your posture, do you make eye contact? Do you allow a man to touch you upon meeting and if so where? These things matter. Men take notice which often determines future interactions.

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Location: Where you meet a man may contribute to how he views you and your potential relationship. It may not be the end all, but context matters. Did you meet at the club, the grocery store, at work, or at school? Sometimes this can shine light on his frame of mind when he met you.

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Your Friends: Birds of a feather flock together, right? Why wouldn’t a man pay attention to the women you hang out with? If you’re friends are put together and represent themselves well, then chances are so do you. However, if you surround yourself with women who do not have a good reputation people may mistake you for one of these women. Surround yourself with women who carry themselves the way that you would like people to see you.

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Your “brand” is everything Lovelies. When a man meets you, in those first moments of interaction he may be categorizing you – for better or worse. First impressions are lasting and your reputation proceeds you. Dating can be difficult at times, and you may have experienced men who have treated you poorly, however take pride and encouragement from knowing that you have a say in your dating experience. What is your brand Lovelies?

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