Let the Games End

Think Like a Man is a hilarious comedy that gives us the playbook on how to think like a man. But should we women really be forced to think like men in order to get one? Originally hesitant about the message of the movie and book, it turned out to be informative. It’s just about what you choose to take from it.

 In a comedic way, this film reminds women that we have the power to control how we are treated, if we demand it. No, this doesn’t mean being aggressive and forceful. Instead it means exuding self-respect by being confident, humble, and exhibiting self-control. We determine how others treat us based on how we treat ourselves. An enlightening article about emotionally unavailable men asserts that “men use a formula to assign value to the women in their lives and a large part of that formula is derived from how much we believe that a woman values herself.”

Love and relationships are based on trust, communication, and mutual respect between two partners. It’s important to be on the same page, and when there is an imbalance, instead of playing mind games, communicating with one’s partner is key. Overall what we can take away from Think Like a Man is that relationships are reciprocal. It takes two people to create and sustain dynamics within a relationship. If you do not agree with your partner’s behavior:

  1. Speak up in a loving and kind way so that your partner can be receptive.
  2. Be open to hear what he or she has to say.
  3. Reflect on your part in the matter and be committed to changing what you can about yourself.

If this does not work, well you have a decision to make. You can decide to stay with your partner knowing that they may never change, or you can decide that this issue is too important for you to settle. Sometimes you have to get fed up and walk away from a relationship that is causing you undue stress and pain. It is this distance that just might be what brings you back together. 

Speeding Through Dates

10 dates in 1 night! “How” you ask…Speed Dating! Sit at a table where a dozen men flock to you…Way cool! Or maybe you’re skeptical?

It may actually be a ton of fun!  It allows you the opportunity to try something new with friends and meet new people at the same time. Still not a believer? Perhaps you’ve heard some scary stories about creepy men you meet. Or maybe you’re too shy, or too serious, or more traditional, waiting for your prince charming to find you. Here are a few ways to help you take a walk on the wild side:

1.     Go with a group of friends to minimize any fear or anxiety about “dating.” And, if you don’t find any guys that meet your interest, you won’t have lost anything. You will have had a fun night trying something new with the girls.

2.     Don’t take it too seriously! Have fun. Don’t go in with too many expectations and you may just walk out having met someone who truly interests you.

3.     Have a glass of wine to calm your nerves and loosen you up. Remember HAVE FUN!

4.     Recap after the night with your friends after the speed dating event: food, more drinks, and lots of laughs are a must!!

What’s your love language?

A Love language is a primary way of expressing and interpreting love.  The five love languages are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical Touch

This made me think, what is mine? What were the love languages of the people I have loved? I took the love language test and got my answer! My dominate love language: Quality Time! That comes as no surprise! Maybe this has something to do with my struggles in past relationships: we just were not expressing our affection in the way that the other interpreted as love.

You may have high scores on more than one love language, but generally we have a dominate language. This is often the key to our hearts! Think about a guy or girl you were smitten with? What did they do? Were some of the sparks you experienced associated with them taping into any of these domains? When a person speaks your love language you likely interpret it as “this person understands me and cares for me.”And when they don’t you probably think “this person doesn’t understand me, they don’t care.” This is unfortunate because often it’s not the case!

Knowing your love language and that of your partner provides each of you with an intimate understanding of the way you both like feelings of love and adoration to be communicated. Have you ever dated someone who gave you lots of gifts and they were nice, but what you really wanted was for them to sit down under the moonlight and share your deepest darkest secrets? Sound familiar? Think about cliché movies where the rich husband neglects his wife who has all the material possessions but is ailing for her husband’s time and attention.

Understanding the ways you like for people to communicate their love towards you is so important! And understanding how your loved one likes to be loved is equally important. “Every time you speak another’s (love) language you score emotional points with one another.”

5 Tricks… That Will Make You Simply Irresistible

1. Try taking a bath in milk and honey. I know it sounds a little strange but trust me, if you want something, this is how to get it!

2. While cooking dinner in lingere may be a “grade B” good idea, try cooking dinner, make sure it’s his favorite, in nothing but an apron!

3. Referencing the #2, if you don’t know how to cook and he mentions that his mother’s cooking is his favorite, try spending a little QT (quality time) with mom, learn how to make his favorite dish, and surprise him one night at the door in lingere, 5 inch heels, and dinner on the table.

4. Try to look your best! There is nothing like a beautiful woman, whether you’re at home, in the nail salon, shopping or even in the grocery store. Pretty is pretty and not pretty is simply, not. I’m not saying dress in your Sunday’s best or as if you’re about to spend the night out on the town but hey a little mascara, eyeliner and lipstick never hurt anyone.

5. I can’t stress this one enough HIGH HEELS LADIES! Men love them, almost just as much as we do, and believe it or not no one double-takes when you’re walking by in a pair of flip-flops but in a pair of 4 inch delights, the click of those heel will do wonders in drawing the attention of others. Just try it and see!

Dating a Divorcee

                                    

Couples who marry between the ages of 20-24 have the highest divorce of any other age bracket. For those of us that are dating, there is a good chance we will meet someone who in their late 20’s or early 30’s has previously been married. I personally have “talked” to three men who have had a pervious marriage (all of which lasted less than 3 years).

I have found some positives and negatives that have come with being involved with a divorcee.  A positive is they are sure of what they want and who they want to be in a relationship with. Of course there are elements of their personality that need to still be developed and can only grow with time, but they know what they are willing to tolerate. If they are still seeking your attention it is because you have passed their “test” and they are willing to focus on a more serious courtship.

The biggest negative that I have faced is how guarded a divorcee can be.  Which is understandable. After putting being in a situation where they thought they were going to spend the rest of their life with one person and it didn’t work it can be quite tough to cope with. If you like this person, you are going to have to deal with the baggage of their pervious relationship.

My advice to those going through this situation is to be patient. Don’t pry and allow your mate to open up to you. Lastly, don’t comprise on want you want, make sure they know that you have expectations just as they do.

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