The Gift of Orgasm is Coming This Year

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Chilly, winter months mean spending more time indoors, but more time indoors often leads to one of our favorite things — warm, blissful sexThis is the Season for giving, after all. Giving yourself as a holiday gift to a lover is popular, but what about the single ladies? Who’ll give you the gift of orgasms? Who better than yourself? For some, being single means abstinence, but it doesn’t have to be orgasm-less! Here are some fabulous pleasure-gifting ideas to give yourself this Holiday!  Single ladies, do not fear! The gift of orgasm is coming this year!

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The Rabbit

One of the most effective toys is the dual-action vibrator, famously referred to as the “Rabbit.” Dual-actions come in many shapes and sizes – animal shapes, g-spot curved, – but they all have one thing in common: two stimulators:  the internal “shaft” that stimulates the vagina, and the clitoral arm for stimulating the clitoris – hence the name “dual-action”. A dual-action vibrator is one of the best toys for solo play as they provide the most stimulation to the most important areas, simultaneously! (My favorite dual-action, Vitality). Find the right dual-action vibrator and it could result in the best orgasm you’ve had, flying solo.

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Some women require a lot of power to reach a clitoral orgasm, whereas others can achieve clitoral orgasm from something as simple as a steady stream of water, a rumbly vibrator, or a lubricated finger.

Whichever category you fall into, you’ll find at least one option that’ll do the trick for you.

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For the Clit-O’-Steel:

For those who need intense power, a vibrating wand such as the Hitachi should be pleasurable. The Hitachi is said to be so powerful that it can bring the toughest of clitoris’ to their knees. For the clit on a budget, the cheaper wand versions also get great feedback.

For the Clit-O’-Honey

Those of us who can reach clitoral orgasm with little power (or no power, just a slippery finger) have more options to choose from. For starters, a well-lubed finger can be just as satisfying as a vibrator! Using lubricant (such as Spunk Lube) and a finger or two to slide and glide up, over and around the clitoris with stroking motions can be a perfectly orgasmic gift for a solo-gal.

singlesecretgardenCreams and Gels

For heightened stimulation, clitoral gels and creams are available that work by increasing blood flow to the genital area, and therefore increasing sensation. *Look for safe ingredients in lubes (paraben-free is ideal). My favorites are Secret Garden by Shunga and Horny Honey.

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 Showerhead Technique!

Another option for the clit-on-a-budget include this time-tested favorite. I’d almost swear the inventor of the removable showerhead must’ve been a woman with a high sex-drive! A steady stream of water makes for one awesomely orgasmic gift. If you have a removable showerhead and you haven’t already, go jump in that bathtub, girl! Lay down and experiment with the different settings while directing the flow onto your clitoris. This technique works great for the gal too stressed to orgasm since the warm water is relaxing, making it easier to focus on the… gift at hand.

For the gal without a removable showerhead:

Head to your local Bed Bath and Beyond asap! Kidding. You can position yourself under the tub faucet; legs wrapped around it, and let the stream fall onto your hot spots. 

If these steamy tips weren’t enough be sure to check out Part 2!

Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

Quoting Singledom

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20 or 30 something and single while many of your friends are getting married and starting families? You’ve mastered your career, on track to become CEO. You’ve traveled the world or at least the States. You’ve been a good friend – given your shoulder to cry on and have cried on a shoulder or two … or ten. You’ve dated, been in relationships, broke up, and went to therapy to work on yourself. And now you’re back at square one – alone. Does this sound familiar?

Singledom can often sound like the main cord of a fateful horror movie, dun dun dun, but does it have to be? Sometimes we need a little pick me upper to remind us what being single is all about. Our top 5 quotes for all the single lovelies, and gents!

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“Sometimes you have to stand alone to prove that you can still stand.” –Anonymous.

Sometimes taking that step to be alone is even harder than being comfortable in an unhealthy relationship. You may have been crippled so much by your past that the thought of being single aches you. Taking that step can give you the confidence and courage that you need, and remind you that you can do it! You may be alone but you’re still standing.

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“I don’t like to be labeled as lonely just because I am alone.” – Delta Burke.

Who ever said being single means you are alone? I’ve been in plenty relationships and have felt lonely. Really the feeling of loneliness is relational – meaning do you have the emotional connections with others, and not just romantic partners. This also means a support system of friends and family. Importantly do you have a connection to yourself? Being single can be a great time for you to reconnect with the person we so often forget – ourselves.

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“Being single is getting over the illusion that there is somebody out there to complete you and taking charge of your own life.” – Omkar Phatak.

So true! Often we think, “life will be perfect once I meet that special someone.” We spend so much time trying to find love to complete us, when really no one can complete you but yourself. Who wants a half a person anyways? Your romantic partner should add to your life, no doubt, but before anyone can make you better, you have to be at your best.

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My mom always complains about my lack of a boyfriend. Well, next time she asks, I’m going to tell her I’m dating two different guys : Mr. Duracell and Mr. Energizer.– Michelle Landry.

There’s not much to be said about this right? The world of technology makes it so that we can all enjoy ourselves, even without a partner, if we so feel the need.

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“Save a boyfriend for a rainy day – and another, in case it doesn’t rain.” – Mae West.

Many of us contemporary professional stylista’s have a back-up plan for our back-up plan when we were deciding on our careers and other important life decisions. Why not have one for dating? I think Miss West may be on to something. Sometimes it’s nice to have that card or two in your back pocket just when you need a “friend.”  Enjoy your single life ladies, and when the weather gets a little gloomy and you need a hint of sunshine, pull out a few options if that’s your delight.

Could Love Have the Power to Heal?

Each of us know, without a doubt that love is, indeed a powerful thing. Whether it is love from a best friend, pet or a spouse, the benefits are noteworthy. In fact, it is probably the most powerful emotion ingrained within us – studies suggests that love may even be powerful enough to heal.

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Time Love Heals All Wounds

We already knew love had this wild ability to turn us into romantically sappy insomniacs, but studies have shown that love has even more power than that. For instance, one study showed that wounds heal faster when acts of love and kindness have been exchanged.

Just think of how great we feel when we’re down or sick and have a loved one(s) by our side to show us some TLC. You have to admit, there is a significant difference in how we feel when a loved one is supporting us through a painful experience.

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Love Lowers Blood Pressure and Increases Survival Odds

In 2008, Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a Brigham Young University Professor and Psychologist found that happily married couples had lower levels of blood pressure than other individuals – including unhappily married people whose results showed blood pressure levels were increased. Holt-Lunstad and Timothy Smith also found that people who have very close ties — not necessarily to a spouse — but other loved ones as well — showed improved odds of survival by fifty percent.

Researchers at Penn State’s College of Medicine and Brigham Young University found that being married (happily, of course) also improves your odds of surviving colon cancer. The study showed that married patients had a 14 percent lower risk of death — the estimate based on an analysis of 127, 753 patient records.

Other studies have shown that people in love tend to be struck less often by “the common cold.” The happy emotions associated with being in love is more than likely the reason for the health benefits that come with love. As most of us know, a more positive, happy-go-lucky gal tends not to get sick as often as a person who is, say, negative, angry, depressed or anxious often. This reminds us that happiness really does play a role in good health, but also that having a happy, healthy relationship can boost our health.

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The Healing Chemical

The hormone Oxytocin — aka the “love hormone,” isn’t just that surge of bliss you feel during, say, an orgasm or amazing dessert. Oxytocin is known to increase healing whether it’s emotional, mental or physical. It is also responsible for the “feely-goods” we get from certain activities such as giving to others, showing and receiving kindness and affection. That warm, fuzzy, “all-is right-in-the world” feeling we get when our partner surprisingly grabs hold of us and doesn’t let go – we can thank our buddy Oxytocin for that feeling!

This is not to say that unmarried folks are not as healthy or that they should go out and force a relationship, but is just to remind ourselves that the power that love is infinite and can be used to our advantage.

Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

3 Signs You May Be In Singledom

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Singledom is a state of mind – it’s feeling free and uncommitted. We may cycle in and out of this phase where the number one priority in our life is ourself. It may sound selfish to some, but this is a part of the dating phase where a woman or man takes the time and energy to focus inward. Given the woes of dating, relationships, and breakups, singledom is the reprieve needed to relax and self reflect. The statuses aren’t mutually exclusive, per se, so one might be single yet go on a date from time to time. The difference is your mind state and how you feel while doing it.  Here are 3 signs that you may be in singledom – even if dating or consoling a break up.

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Fickle Feelings: One week you may like a guy and the next, not so much. You can’t even help it really. There are also days when you just don’t feel like being bothered with anyone. This is a part of the process. When you need time and space to yourself there are no hard feelings, you are just paying attention and loving the one person you have to spend everyday of your life with.

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Connection Preference: You get annoyed when a guy calls you, preferring to keep it strictly to text. In this phase you may not be too interested in getting to know someone really well. Progress in a relationship is not much of a priority. When someone shows to much interest in you, it may turn you off because interrelations are subsidiary to connecting with the self.5singledmomemakeityoutownway

Turning Down Dream Dates: A guy you date (loosely) asks to take you on a romantic getaway and you have to “think about it.” Let’s face it lovelies when you have to think about going on the getaway of your dreams you are probably in a state a self-reflection, where the most important thing is caring for the self and mending your own heart.

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One of the most important love lessons is to understand where you are in the dating phase and respect your feelings about it. In life there’s often no black and white – yet a substantial amount of grey. In love and relationships this means that one’s status need not be mutually exclusive. Singledom often encompasses sorting out a variety of feelings and emotions. It represents a time where you can reflect on past and present experience, live and date freely, allowing your own heart, mind, and soul to be first priority.

Filling The Void of Singledom

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Are you single and hating it? Trust me I’ve been there. It can be quite lonely without a beau but also quite necessary. When I was single and not dating there would be days where life just felt monotonous, boring, and desolate. I kept thinking, “What’s wrong with me? Why don’t I have anyone?” My days were spent handling business only to come home to an empty home. I felt like a reject – as if no one wanted me. I ruminated over my loneliness and made myself miserable. Everyday was gloomy because I chose for it to be.
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Being single and comfortable is a choice and sometimes it takes practice. Loneliness and sadness are natural emotions however, they do not have to consume you. You can turn this void into value by finding activities and people to share your time with. When I was living in single misery I isolated myself from others. How ironic that I felt lonely yet decided to be alone? So, I began to hang out with people – to share my time with others and not spend so much of it by myself. I began to engage in activities that I loved. I began to get out of the house and explore my new city. I made the choice to be single and happy.  It was not easy and it did not happen over night, but as I began to be comfortable with being without a beau I began to learn new things about myself. Simply put, I began to live.
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“So how do I do this?” you may wonder. It starts with making the decision – happiness is a choice . Once you have decided that’s almost half the battle! Next question, what do you love to do? Do you like to write, read poetry, ride bikes, watch movies? What interests you? What makes you bubbly inside? Once you’ve identified that, here comes the most important part – don’t do it alone! Pick up the phone and ask a friend to join you in that activity. If you are like me, you may be new in town and without many friends or perhaps all of your close friends have beaus – you will have to step outside of your comfort zone. That girl that smiles at you every morning or sits by you in class is a potential friend. Spark up a conversation – get to know someone you would not normally talk to and invite them out. Humans are social animals, we are made to be in relationships with people – and no ladies they don’t have to be romantic. One of the best cures for loneliness is companionship. Let’s be social Lovelies!
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