One of the most common questions I get from men who court me is the infamous, “So why are you single?” It never fails, every guy I go out on a date with, text, or talk to on the phone, that question always comes up. I cringe as soon as it rolls off their lips because there’s just no one answer. Before answering, I think to myself, “Do you want the real reason, or the politically correct answer?” I almost always go with the latter, preceded by a playful, “Because I’m crazy.” You know what they say, there’s truth in every joke.
But this brings up the good question for us single ladies and gents: Why are we single? So, I’ve scoped the land, talked to some people, processed my own singledom, and came up with these few reasons. Can you find yourself in any one of these?
1. Case of the Ex: You are still in love with your ex. The two of you may have broken up last week, last month, several months, or even years ago, but time doesn’t matter. That person still holds a special place in your heart and you might even feel there’s no one who can take his or her place. You’re so smitten with your ex, you couldn’t even notice Mr. or Mrs. Right if s/he smacked you in the face.
2. Tunnel Vision: You’re career is king or queen and you don’t have time to waste on relationships. That is time you’d rather spend in the pursuit of excellence. Sure you date, but it’s nothing serious. You’re so focused on the goal ahead of you that your vision is constricted and you can’t see anything else, even if it’s the love of your life.
3. You Really are “Crazy”: I say this lightly but in reality you have difficulties maintaining relationships. Maybe they start off perfectly and you are really feeling your beau, yet each relationship turns south. Something always goes wrong and the common factor seems to be you.
4. Single, Sexy, and Free: You love being single because this is the time to enjoy life. You are embracing who you are in the moment and don’t need (or want) to be in a committed relationship just yet. Right now it’s all about self exploration and you are loving it!
5. Single Solitude: You are afraid to be in a relationship or you simply don’t know how to be. Perhaps it’s difficult for you to relate to others, maybe you are shy, or maybe you are just plain scared of comittment. Either way, singledom is your fortress to keep you from getting hurt. The only thing is, you really want to be with someone you just don’t know how to let them in.
Do any of these fit the bill? I think I may be a mixture! Now what? It depends on you. Take an honest inventory of yourself and inquire why you are single. If it’s something you like then great, continue to bask in it! But if you find yourself unsatisfied with your current position, dig deeper. Find the root and work on fixing it so you are ready to be in a healthy relationship the next time the opportunity presents itself. One thing to keep in mind is singledom is often a season. Sometimes you may be in it for a while, cycle in and out, or never come back. Whatever your situation take this time to self explore and work on becoming a better you.