On the day that would have been my anniversary I must reckon with the question “Will it ever be me?” I know. I’m young. I have the rest of my life ahead of me. I have a lot going for myself that love can “wait.”
I was on facebook when I saw a beautiful display commemorating the love of a couple on their anniversary. Whenever I see public displays of love, I get happy because I love LOVE! But every now and then a little sad for myself. Maybe it’s just that time of year because this time my heart was heavy. Loneliness, a little despair, but mostly anxiety crept in. I wouldn’t say it’s jealousy, but it did make me feel left out.
Sometimes I feel like, am I not good enough? Can I not be the one in that framed picture on display for all the world to see? Is there no man that will love me enough to declare it to everyone? A true love. A selfless love. A sacrificial love. Enduring. One that lasts forever. Will I Ever?
Sometimes I feel alone in this, but I know there is someone else who understands me? A person who too questions, when is it my day? When will it be my turn to be loved unconditionally?
The psychology in me can’t end this without a reflection of self. So, I say if you want to be loved unconditionally you must first love yourself. Be willing to give and receive love, when the time comes. You can’t force it if it’s not there, nor can you fight it when it is. Just accept love when it knocks at your door. Sometimes you may not even expect the person on the other side when you open it.