Breaking up with a beau is best described as a process. You are likely experience a variation of emotions and that’s okay. Here are 5 stages of a Breakup. You may not experience all of these emotions or you may experience them in different orders, but one thing is for sure, these stages provide a glimpse into what it feels like to go through a break up.
Denial: Shock may be one of the first emotions you experience. You may be in disbelief about your loss. For some of us this may come with “whew” (whipping the forehead) because you may be relieved to finally have your freedom. Others may experience a paralyzing disbelief, “what do I do now?” This may too be accompanied by acting as if everything is “okay” when the truth of the matter is that you are probably bubbling over with emotions.
Anger: All the worst things about your break up might surface – you are angry about all the things he or she put you through. The thought of your ex’s name upsets you so much so that you may need to take out some of your aggression – punching bag, constant conversations with your girlfriends, or dare we say it – even verbal battles with your past beau. This stage may have your emotions on high alert!
Depression: Many say anger is a secondary emotion and that underneath is usually a sense of loss and dispair. If this is true, once the anger wears off you may be left feeling desolate – with a broken heart. All the things you hated about your ex are overridden with all the great memories you had. You may experience an intense void, wishing things could be different.
Bargaining: Wishful dispair may turn to you thinking about all the what ifs, should haves, could haves, and would haves. You may blame yourself for the demise and wonder what would have happened if you handled things diferently. You probably contemplate calling him or her and some of us even do. Others may sit by the phone wishing their ex would call or wonder by old spots just hoping the two of you will run in to each other. The facebook and twitter stalking comes next prying on his or her every move, “how could he or she be so happy without me?”
Acceptance: It’s not the easiest thing to do but eventually we all hopefully come to this place. We may not necessarily like it but we accept that our relationship is over. We experience a myriad of emotions but instead of trying to deny or evade them we learn to deal with the sadness, anger, and sense of abandonment. This leads to healing – the point at which we can fully, wholly, and healthily move forward knowing that this person may be a significant memory but doesn’t have to define our existence. We embrace the losses in life and we continue live.
What do you think lovelies?