Breaking up is not always easy. We may get an inkling that it’s time to part ways but there’s something that keeps us from saying goodbye. The back and fourth can hinder our ability to move forward from a long overdue break up. Perhaps we are scared of becoming that broken hearted girl, in love, or just want to avoid a loss, so much so that we ignore the tall tell signs that it’s time to go. Once we finally break up we look back and see all the red flags. Hind sight is twenty twenty, yet how do you know when it’s time to let go before this? Here are 4 signs that we may need to close the curtains on a relationship.
1. Distrust: Trust is one of the most important features of a relationship. If you get to the point where you are going through your partner’s phone and personal belongings, that is a sign of distrust. This may be an internal issue for you to work out within yourself or it may be gut response elicited from your partner’s action. None-the-less, these behaviors can become addictive and be problematic for both parties. If your partner eventually finds out he or she may feel violated and may question their ability to trust you as well – a recipe for disaster. If you get the inkling to dig, start by asking yourself why. Invading your partner’s privacy may sooth your anxiety in the moment but the saying goes, “if you look for something you will find it.” And then what?
2. Unhappiness: Happiness is a process, a way of being, not an end state. In general your partner should bring you joy. Of course there will be times where you are angered or even saddened by your partner, that’s a part of relationships. However, if you constantly feel unhappy in a relationship that is telling. Your experience, despite difficult times, should be pleasant and if it’s more displeasure it may not be worth it. Your beau should make you better, not worse.
3. Arguing: Disagreements will occur in any relationship. But if you’re constantly fighting and arguing with a partner that may be a sign that some needs aren’t getting met and communication between the two of you is broken. Relationships are not easy, but they also shouldn’t be that hard. There will undoubtedly be difficult times but if the bad outweighs the good you may want to rethink it.
4. Time: Spending time together is the mainstay of a partnership. It takes time to build and maintain a strong bond. It’s natural to have moments during your relationship where you spend less time together. Plus, life happens. You have other responsibilities like work, hobbies, and spending times with friends that may keep you from spending all of your time with your beau, and that’s okay. In balance, it’s actually quite healthy. However, If you find that you like spending more time away from your partner than together, you continually choose other people or activities over your partner, and you make excuses as to why you can’t be with him or her, you should listen to that. What is this lack of time telling you?