Let’s face it lovelies. How many of your one-night stands were successful? By successful, I’m talking about how you felt afterwards, not how good the sex felt. Did you feel amazing? Blissful? Like you’ve created a long-lasting bond?
Okay, so the one-night-stand was all those things? Good for you, but for many of us, that probably isn’t the reality. Instead of feeling happy, perky and luminous, after a one-night stand, we often feel our worst. I’ll be the first to admit the flaws of the one-night-stand because honey, it just isn’t that fun.
What We Get From Sex
We have sex to bond, and we bond to have sex!
- Sex between a couple establishes and helps maintain bonding. The more regular the sex, the closer, more long-lasting the bond.
- Sex releases endorphins, which explains the happy-sappy feelings we get afterward.
- Sex has been said to increase self-esteem and optimism.
But it’s not just any sex that creates these beneficial effects. It’s usually about who you’re sharing it with, that makes the difference.
One-night-stands are about as different as masturbation is to sex. Similar to how you might feel after masturbation — with a one-night stand, there’s no connection, bonding or blissful afterglow. Not that masturbation or one night stands aren’t enjoyable, but there’s nothing like an endearing human touch from someone you have a lasting connection with.
Consider the main reasons we have sex
- Chemistry bonding and/or to express love
How can you know you have chemistry with someone you just met? They might be attractive and mysterious, but chemistry doesn’t usually develop after a single round of drinks.
Without chemistry, can a one-night stand really be as great as sex with someone who you have a bond with?
If we don’t know our bed-buddy, how can we bond through sex? It makes more sense to first bond by getting to know each other.
What We Get from One-Night Stands
Feelings of being used, or being a sex object, lowered self-esteem, regrets and fears of STD’s or whether he will call you tomorrow are common after a one night stand.
Besides that, how many of us have wasted our time wondering why we weren’t good enough for him/her to have more than just one night of sex with. Are we not good enough for him to want to get to know us outside of the bedroom? Having sex with someone who shows us his love and care, is shown to lead to the opposite of what one might feel after a one-night stand. Sex with a caring partner usually leads to bliss, bonding, and higher self-esteem.
Why We Bother with One-Night Stands
I’d bet that some do it with hopes of a relationship. For others, it’s the thrill. But besides a thrill, there’s little else a one-night stands has to offer. Plus, there are plenty of ways to find thrills without putting yourself at risk for STD’s, emotional pain, regrets anger and low self-esteem.
There may be some who have had one-night stands without such experiences, but generally sex with someone we know and care about will probably leave us more fulfilled.
Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.