It’s Not You, It’s … Your I-Phone!

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Could  Your I-Phone Be to Blame for Your Failed Relationships?

It’s no surprise that cell phone usage is now touted as an addiction —  “nomophobia,” which is probably short for “no-mobile-phobia.” Cell phone addiction stories are now frequently making the news. Researchers and prominent scholars have been speaking up about the dangers for some time now. Even the Telegraph quoted Dr. James Roberts, of Baylor’s Hankamer School of Business stating that cell phones are “eroding our personal relationships.”

Even more interesting, the Telegraph noted that “previous studies,” (such as one done by the  Journal of Behavioural Addictions)  showed that young adults check their phone about 60 times a day. Guess how many times the average person smiles per day? About 40-50, sometimes more, and obviously sometimes less. But the point is that most of us use our phones more than we smile. That’s a serious problem!

It’s already been established that electronics emit harmful radiowaves, and one study (although small, but relevant enough to heed the information found) showed that cell phone usage is linked with erectile dysfunction (E.D). The study found that men with E.D. carried cell phones significantly longer than those who use theirs for under 2 hours daily.  Unfortunately, men who simply carry their phones around for 4+ hours a day are more likely to suffer from impotence than those who use theirs for under 2 hours a day. What’s more is that if you’re trying for a bouncing new baby, your phone isn’t on your side. A study found that cell phones have “an impact on sperm quality, including sperm morphology and sperm motility.” In other words sperm’s quality, quickness and the sperm’s appearance/structure was decreased in all 4 patients when cell-phone usage was increased.

Well just cut down the time we’re on our phones right?  It seems it’s not that easy for us to ditch our phones. Obviously having your nose buried in anything (other than your lover) is a mood-killer, and sometimes downright rude, depending on the moment. These questionarre results alone should be enough to emphasize the extent of this issue. A study done by AVG Technologies stated that 57% of US women would rather give up sex for a week over their iphones. Men answered a differently — they won’t give up sex for their iphones, but  new girlfriends? Nah,  who needs those? Just slap that shiny electronic in their hands. Perhaps what we actually need is iphone rehab instead of intervention?

Is that not enough to make you want to throw that iphone out the window? So, how about we all make a habit to “switch-off” for as long as our lives will allow each day. Just think, if we switch off our electronics for, say, 2 hours a day while spending time with our lovers, we may have the odds in our favor of filling our love cups and also of lessening our health risks, which are not in favor of our healthy sex lives, apparently. Who can honestly say no to that?

Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

The Perfect Date Night for National Chocolate Chip Day

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Photo Credit 

When you and your special companion celebrate a holiday, what is it that makes it so special? Is it the fact that you are together, shutting out the world and tuning out all distractions ? Well, when May 15th arrives, you can find another reason to do just that! National Chocolate Chip Day is a day to celebrate that sweet sensation found in many of our favorite pastries, such as cookies, pancakes, bagels, brownies, muffins, and much more. What better way to celebrate this sweet holiday than to bake a delicious batch of chocolate chip cookies or try a new chocolate chip dessert with your significant other?

Start the day off with a romantic getaway to the grocery store together. Doesn’t sound fun but shopping as a couple can be quite enjoyable – you just have to make it that way. Peruse the aisle with your beau to find just the right ingredients for a sexy night in doors with your favorite sensual ingredient. A hint of whipped cream and strawberries may be just the right ingredients to add to a sexy night of chocolate. Before going to the store try checking out Pinterest or IG for a chocolate dessert that will set the right mood for your evening.

When you arrive home set the tone with a romantic playlist and begin the adventure of making your chocolate delight together. Now is the time to be hands on with your dessert and your partner so don’t be shy. While you’re preparing the dessert sneak a bite or two – your beau included. Once the dessert is prepared to bake, head to the shower to cool off. After letting off some steam wear your partner’s favorite bedtime attire and hit the dining room to have a sweet chocolate night.

Elevate the mood by changing the music to something sultry. If you’re an old fashion music lover try crooners, such as Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Louis Armstrong, and Bing Crosby, for a number of slow dance songs. Songs such as ‘In My Life’ & ‘Something’ by The Beatles, ‘Memories of You’ & ‘Girl in My Dreams’ by The Four Lovers (the band that became The Four Seasons), and ‘My Girl’ by The Temptations are sure to put you both in a feel good mood. Make the kitchen your dance floor and whisk your beau off his or her feet for a magical night of dancing. And we haven’t even gotten to the dessert yet.

For a dance break, set out the dessert with your favorite sweet wine in a candle lit room facing a window for a a perfect view of the city. Be sure to sit next to your partner so you can feed each other the savory chocolate treat. Take in all the sweet sensations from the music titillating your eardrums, to the beautiful cityscape, the taste of sweet chocolate on your tongue, the smell of chocolate mixed with your partner’s natural fragrance, and the the warm touch of your beau. Each sensation will make the mood that much more magical. You can heat up the night by popping in one of your favorite romantic films and cuddling on the couch together with your edible creation – let the night take you away. That is one sweet treat that is tough to beat! Happy National Chocolate Chip Day, everyone!

Z.M. Wise is a poet/writer, assistant editor/co owner of an international publishing press, poetry activist, student, full time worker, voice actor, old soul/old fashioned romantic, animal lover/animal rights supporter, lover of fitness, and more. For one year, he has been giving free love/dating/relationship advice to help as many women as possible, whether the question is about the relationship itself, how to get over a breakup, how to be a better person, and everything in between. His theory is that love is so vast and unlimited that it has no definition. There are a large number of awful relationships and it is his genuine pleasure to help and try to decrease that number in nearly any means necessary. All he asks in return is that the advice works in the long run. His motto in life contains two simple, but powerful words: POETRY LIVES!! He will make sure it remains vibrant for the rest of his days and beyond. Love, like poetry, shall live on. After all, it is what we live for.

Can I Remain Friends with My Ex?

Is it possible to remains friends with an ex? Sure, but it will require a careful and objective approach to the situation. Of course, being objective about a person with whom you used to share the most intimate parts of yourself can be a daunting task for some. This difficulty may be exacerbated if the relationship ended badly—in which case it may be impossible. However, if you truly feel that a friendship with your ex is worth the effort, then by all means go for it! Here are a few tips to get through the tightrope act of transitioning from girlfriend to friend.

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Rule 1: Give yourself a grace period. Creating a “no contact” period between the time you break things off with your former lover and the time you decide to embark on your quest for a friendship is necessary. Regardless of how cordial, mutual, or inevitable your breakup may have been, the fact of the matter is your ex was an important person in your life at some point and not having him there in that capacity can be jarring. You need this time to mourn and accept the end of the relationship.

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Rule 2: Assess your feelings. Once you’ve gone though the grace period and have concluded that you want to pursue a friendship with your ex, you have to ask yourself why you want this friendship?  Be honest about your intentions. Make sure you’re not pursing this with the dream of a potential reunion. He may never want to be in a relationship with you again, and you have to understand and accept this as fact.

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Rule 3: Assess his feelings. Reconsider if friendship with him is the right option if you know he still harbors strong feelings for you. Don’t give him a false sense of hope by stringing him along with a friendship when you know he yearns for more. This may sound counterproductive, but if you care enough to want him as your friend, then delay your friendship with him until you are completely sure that’s all he truly desires.

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Rule 4:  Keep is strictly platonic. Do not, I repeat, do not continue or maintain a sexual relationship with him. The idea of a “friends with benefits” situation is nearly impossible if it involves your ex. It’s hard enough to maintain a platonic relationship with an ex. Sex is always accompanied by feelings not matter how hard you try to avoid them. If rules 2 or 3 apply to either of you, then rule 4 must be followed as well.

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Rule 5: Keep outings to a minimum. So, you’ve followed rules 1 through 4 to a T, and you’re now deep in the infant stages of your friendship. Don’t ruin any progress by still engaging in activities that can be considered “couple-like.” Frequent dinner dates and hang out sessions may bring on the potential for mixed signals and compromising situations to occur. Sure you may be enjoying your ex’s company, but friendships come with far less expectations than relationships. Just because you’re doing well as friends doesn’t mean you will do well as a reconciled couple. Remember: there was a reason you two broke up in the first place.

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Rule 6: Create boundaries. Since this friendship has risen from the ashes of something that was once romantic, you have to recognize that this will not be your typical, run-of-the-mill friendship. Be careful not to discuss with your ex your newfound freedom and its accompanying love life. Neither of you may not have deep feelings for each other anymore, but even the tiniest of feelings may spawn jealousy which could lead to confused feelings and awkward conversations. This friendship is supposed to add value to your life, not create stress.  Do not assume you two are cool enough to discuss how well last night’s date went.

Just like in a relationship, a good friendship requires effort, trust, mutual respect and honesty. Following these rules won’t ensure that a friendship will happen between you and your ex. However, if you can keep these few tips in mind, there’s a strong change you’ll be able to turn your failed romantic relationship into a budding friendship that could last for many years to come.

Tamara Jenkins is a real Jersey girl. She’s independent, opinionated, and loves her sports. When she’s not watching her favorite teams, she’s reading, practicing yoga or working on a few books she hopes will get published one day. She also may or may not be training for a 5k race. With a belief that life is what you make of it, Tamara doesn’t merely want to survive life; she wants to live it.

When Your Relationship is PMS-ing

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You know when it seems like your relationship is completely out of whack? Your spouse is just unexplicably “off” and you feel like somewhere along the way, you guys have hit an irritable, frustrating bump in the love road. Every time one of you opens your mouth, the other jumps on the defensive train and it turns into one argument after the other, and over seemingly nothing. You don’t know what happened, but over the last few days, you’ve been at each others throats, and everything s/he does seems to set you off (and vice-versa.)

Virtually all relationships go through “relationship PMS” at some point. It may be as frequent as your own PMS, or it may be as rare as once a year. Wherever you stand on the scale, learn to identify the issue for what it is and be mindful that it, much like Aunt Flo, will also pass. Even knowing this, relationship PMS is not fun for any of us, so here are a few ways to cut through that cruddy phase and get your relationship back in order.

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Find harmony. 

We rarely feels harmonious during PMS week, and relationships are no exception. There’s stress and frustration, but harmony eludes us. When dealing with the frustration of the PMS spell (whether it’s your PMS or your relationship) grab yourself a piece of peace and harmony.  One of the simplest methods is by using guided meditation (which you can find on YouTube). Sitting through a 15 minute session of guided meditation works wonders to bring your focus, clarity and mental state back to more sane levels. If you can get your lover to participate with you, even better! It’ll help bring the relationship back into balance.

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Too much time together

Obviously too much time together can  lead to further frayed nerves.  So agree to spend half a day alone, doing something that relaxes and rejuvenates the both of you, then meet up for a relaxing activity that you can do together.  For example, my spouse & I took a  late-night adventure into the peaceful, quiet woods last weekend and felt better than if we’d stayed in with a boring movie. Just a breath of fresh air, and a little nature can help bring you both back into a more easy-going state of being.

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You need a laugh

…or perhaps a drink, but there is a reason people have said  laughter is “the best medicine” for so many centuries. If you can get yourself a good, hearty laugh, then your outlook and mood will in fact lift. Speaking of a good laugh, what’s funnier than two people having some light-hearted fun with each other? Achieve this by channeling the inner child in you and cook up a prank to play on your lover. Think saran wrap on the toilet seat or a go old school and get a whoopie cushion (whoopie cushions for men = endless hours of fun). If you can master a funny prank that’ll make him laugh too – you just might end the PMS phase for good. Nothing cuts tension like a fit of laughter. Just make sure it’s done with kindness and not cruelty, and be prepared to get pranked in return!

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Never underestimate the power of music

Music is another tried and true method for altering your mood. One of my favorite happy-songs is “Happy” by Pharrell Williams. I cannot play that song and not smile. Anytime I feel discouraged, down or overly stressed, I play it, and it never fails to uplift my mood.  If you have your own favorite song that puts you in a can’t-resist-must-dance-now mood, then put it on repeat and don’t stop until you’re there! You and your partner both will benefit from the good vibes of a happy song.

Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

 

Spring Into Romance

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After spending the winter getting cozy with your lover and hopefully going on some exciting dates through out the chillier months its finally time to open up the windows and let in the fresh air or make a trip outside!

Here are some exciting dates perfect for night & day – so ditch the blankets and grab your babe for some spring fun.

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Get Active

The couple that plays together stays together! It’s time to get outside and make the most of the adventures that are all around you.

  1. Hiking: A great way to exert energy while spending some alone time with your significant other and taking in the scenery. For added romance, take a night hike with just a flashlight as your guide (works best if you have taken the path in the daylight first).
  2. Bike Rides: Most cities have bike paths and parks ready to be explored.
  3. Sporting Events: Surprise your boyfriend with tickets to a baseball game! Get involved in community leagues, or play catch in the back yard. Also, catch a Hockey game before the season comes to a close.
  4. Zip Line: don’t turn away from this seemingly scary activity. Some are designed to be more leisurely and some give you just enough of an adrenaline rush!

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Spruce Up The Home

After the long winter months, most of us can probably agree that its time to bring a little brightness into our homes.

  1. Spring Cleaning: A classic way to spend quality time together is cleaning. No, I don’t mean let’s do the laundry and dishes together, rather let’s make our home an enjoyable place for the both of us by adding new wall art or storing the extra blankets.
  2. The Earth Laughs In Flowers (and plants): There are plenty of flowers and plants that are great to have around the house. Or maybe, now is the time for you to start you garden together or improve the landscaping!
  3. DIT – Do It Together: Pick out a new paint color and give your furniture, front door, or living room wall a make over. If you are feeling crafty introduce your BF to Pinterest and find something you can make together.

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Yummy

With the change of weather we are all getting excited to incorporated fruity flavors and try new recipes that pair perfectly with cocktails on the porch.

  1. Picnic in the Park: Pack a basket full of your favorite foods and drinks, and enjoy an afternoon under a shade tree.
  2. Fruit Farms: Go organic and visit your local apple orchard or strawberry farms. This is a healthy and fun daytime activity! Try incorporating your yummy fruits into a new recipe such as salads and desserts.
  3. Mixed Drinks: Everyone enjoys a refreshing drink, alcoholic or not, while enjoying the sun. Try making a new drink, (that you both enjoy) every Saturday and invite friends over for your own happy hour.

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Go Outside

It’s finally warm so what better way to spend the afternoon than enjoying the sun.

  1. Garden Gurus: There are plenty of types of gardens you and your sweetie can explore together. Find tranquility walking through a botanical, butterfly, or peace garden. If you are up for more of a challenge hedge mazes are lots of fun!
  2. Drive in Movies: With the weather getting warmer its time to take your movie-nights-in, outdoors. Pack up the car with blankets, pillows and snacks – just the right ingredients for snuggling with your significant other.
  3. Animal Loving: The zoo is never a dull place! Between the penguins, elephants and adorable animal t-shirts you are sure to have an adventure. Also, many zoos have special events such as behind the scene tours that give you a chance to interact with the animals.

Don’t forget to show off your new skills, experiences and clean home to your friends by inviting them over for a couple’s night or meet at the local park! Spring is a perfect time to make fresh foods and create memories in the warm air while spending time with your love.

Written by: Sydney Cologie dream “job” is doing PR for a fashion magazine or retail company. She enjoy reading my horoscope and am often spilling hot coffee on myself. Inspired by city life, swing sets, and oversized sweaters the world is her oyster. Making up new words & watching cartoons are just a few of her favorite pastimes along with buying unnecessary calendars and dreaming of owning a kitten.

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