It’s Not You, It’s … Your I-Phone!

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Could  Your I-Phone Be to Blame for Your Failed Relationships?

It’s no surprise that cell phone usage is now touted as an addiction —  “nomophobia,” which is probably short for “no-mobile-phobia.” Cell phone addiction stories are now frequently making the news. Researchers and prominent scholars have been speaking up about the dangers for some time now. Even the Telegraph quoted Dr. James Roberts, of Baylor’s Hankamer School of Business stating that cell phones are “eroding our personal relationships.”

Even more interesting, the Telegraph noted that “previous studies,” (such as one done by the  Journal of Behavioural Addictions)  showed that young adults check their phone about 60 times a day. Guess how many times the average person smiles per day? About 40-50, sometimes more, and obviously sometimes less. But the point is that most of us use our phones more than we smile. That’s a serious problem!

It’s already been established that electronics emit harmful radiowaves, and one study (although small, but relevant enough to heed the information found) showed that cell phone usage is linked with erectile dysfunction (E.D). The study found that men with E.D. carried cell phones significantly longer than those who use theirs for under 2 hours daily.  Unfortunately, men who simply carry their phones around for 4+ hours a day are more likely to suffer from impotence than those who use theirs for under 2 hours a day. What’s more is that if you’re trying for a bouncing new baby, your phone isn’t on your side. A study found that cell phones have “an impact on sperm quality, including sperm morphology and sperm motility.” In other words sperm’s quality, quickness and the sperm’s appearance/structure was decreased in all 4 patients when cell-phone usage was increased.

Well just cut down the time we’re on our phones right?  It seems it’s not that easy for us to ditch our phones. Obviously having your nose buried in anything (other than your lover) is a mood-killer, and sometimes downright rude, depending on the moment. These questionarre results alone should be enough to emphasize the extent of this issue. A study done by AVG Technologies stated that 57% of US women would rather give up sex for a week over their iphones. Men answered a differently — they won’t give up sex for their iphones, but  new girlfriends? Nah,  who needs those? Just slap that shiny electronic in their hands. Perhaps what we actually need is iphone rehab instead of intervention?

Is that not enough to make you want to throw that iphone out the window? So, how about we all make a habit to “switch-off” for as long as our lives will allow each day. Just think, if we switch off our electronics for, say, 2 hours a day while spending time with our lovers, we may have the odds in our favor of filling our love cups and also of lessening our health risks, which are not in favor of our healthy sex lives, apparently. Who can honestly say no to that?

Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

Why He Hates Your Vibrator

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There are men who are thrilled to incorporate sex toys into their relationships, while others scowl at the sight of BOB (your Battery Operated Boyfriend.) It’s the latter that stumps us. You thought he’d be happy that you were frisky enough to bring home a vibrator? But, the plan backfired. Now, what’s a girl to do?

Answer: Know why he hates BOB and encourage a newfound friendship. Below are reasons our male counterparts despise our plastic friends and ways to remedy the situation so both of you are pleased.

THE PROBLEMS:

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Problem 1: He’s Feeling Replaced

You haven’t “replaced” your love-muffin with your plastic friend, but it can feel that way to him. Most people enjoy using toys during foreplay, but not as objects to use in place of him. Making sure you aren’t spending more time solo with BOB than with your beau is vital if you want everyone to get along.

Side Note: If unfullfilment is the case, then there’s other ways to go about that. Here’s a tip: tell him what you want, guide him in bed, and if he’s simply resistant about pleasuring you, then honey, you’re in the wrong bed.

Problem 2: He’s Feeling Like He Doesn’t Satisfy You

You may not even be unsatisfied but it can sure come off like that. Restricting your sexual activity to your vibrator can give the impression that you aren’t satisfied with his sex, or that the vibrator is better. For many of us, there’s not a toy on this planet we’d choose over our guys, so make sure he knows that!

THE REMEDY:

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Use Your Mouth

To talk to him! Better yet, actions speak louder than words. He may need a reminder that he’s your ultimate pleasure source. Make sure he knows that he is number one and your toys are your way of throwing in a unique adventure for both of you. If he knows you’re satisfied, then there’s a better chance of him joining in on the fun instead of stuffing your vibrator in the garbage disposal (Crunch Crunch). Remember, in the case of vibrator meets lover, if you want them to play well together, reassurance is everything.

THE PROBLEM:

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You Didn’t Introduce Them Properly

Did introduction between lover and vibrator occur thanks to him following the sound of the buzzing? Did you introduce them right in the middle of a hot session together? For some men, all of the above is acceptable, but for others, it’s freaky and intimidating. Suddenly he’s filled with these thoughts such as,  “I haven’t been pleasing her well enough” or “I’m not big enough!” Panic mode sets in, and he now resents the objects that brings you pleasure.

THE REMEDY:

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Re-Introduction

Reintroduce your partner and Bob on better terms and encourage them to partner. Instead of going solo, if you want to decrease your chances of giving the impression that he isn’t fulfilling to you, try introducing toys as part of foreplay, or in some way that includes him. Plus, if he’s having fun too, then he’s more likely to begin a friendship with Bob.

Tip:  It’s hard to hate something that feels good to you too! Some men enjoy vibrations, hence the reason male vibrating rings exist. Any vibrator will do.  Try using it on his sensitive parts. Even better, try using a couple’s vibrator so he doesn’t feel like he’s sharing you with a vibrator. 

Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

 

 

 

 

The Gift of Orgasm is Coming This Year Part 2

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It was so steamy in our first Gift of Orgasm article that we had to give you a part two – tips for single gals to pleasure themselves solo!

Replicate sex

Realistic dildos are designed to replicate intercourse with a male. Not identical to having a partner, but this makes giving yourself a Holiday orgasm even more fun. Amongst the most popular are dildos made from material called “VixSkin” or “CyberSkin” or “SuperSkin” or “PureSkin,” etc. Basically, if it has the word “skin” in the material’s name, it’s designed to feel like skin. The downside: “skin-dildos” requires more care than your average silicone-material because the highly porous “skin” materials mean it holds bacteria, and isn’t best for long-term use due to risk of infection. The next best thing to “skin-like” dildos are realistically shaped ones made from safe silicone.

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The G-spot Gal

A favorite G-spot toy, Envie. G-spot toys are the perfect gift for the girl who wants to experience the “gush” or “squirt” everyone talks about. First, you must locate your G-spot before you can begin to stimulate it. Once you have, it can be one of the best orgasms you’ll experience. Some women are able to orgasm via manual stimulation (1-2 fingers vigorously rubbing the anterior wall of the vagina — the spot where you feel a ridged-like texture, and when pressed, you’ll feel a need-to-urine-like sensation) or using  a toy designed to stimulate the g-spot. Just like the other orgasms, the G-spot is no exception, as some need a heavy-duty g-spotter with an intense curve in its design (like the Pure Wand, a steel, pricey dildo).

Some like Pure Wand. Others, like myself, can achieve the g-spot orgasm via more affordable, slightly curved toys (such as the Lia G-Bliss vibrator, a favorite). Another inexpensive option for those who are able to reach their G-spot is creams, like “Tickle Her G-Spot,” to improve sensation. The cream is applied directly to the G-spot, and results in swelling, making it easier to find. It may also make it more sensitive to stimulation, therefore making the G-spot orgasm easier to achieve. It can be used with a G-spot toy or fingers.

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Take the Bullet

Bullet vibrators can be used for external stimulation, and some for internal, too. Bullets tend to have powerful vibrations with a hint of buzziness to them, which can either be perfect for you, or too intense and result in what I call Numb Clit Syndrome.

For those of us who prone to NCS, using a bullet internally and leaving it in place is enticing. Once in place, your hands can manually or electronically massage the clitoris for added stimulation.

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Girl On-The-Go

Another favorite of mine is a hands-free vibrator that can be tucked away in your undies, while you use your hands to explore or just slip it in for a thrill outside the house. I love a good strap-on clitoral vibrator, which is a vibrator that sits on the outside of your vulva and is held on by straps, too. My favorite and often used hands-free vibrator is Noa, a toy that stimulates the G-spot, with an outer “stem” that nudges against the clitoris.

Oral Simulators

Even oral sex lovers can have the next best thing. SaSi — a toy labeled an “oral simulator” is said to help achieve a similar-to-oral-sex orgasm. It has a “nub” under a layer of silicone that moves back and forth to simulate the sensation of tongue movements.

A more budget-friendly version, and favorite of mine, is the Sqweel 2. It has small silicone “tongues” that rotate on a wheel and flap against the skin.

Happy Self-Gifting Lovelies!

 Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

Why One-Night Stands Aren’t All They’re Cracked Up to Be

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Let’s face it lovelies. How many of your one-night stands were successful?  By successful, I’m talking about how you felt afterwards, not how good the sex felt. Did you feel amazing? Blissful? Like you’ve created a long-lasting bond?

Okay, so the one-night-stand was all those things? Good for you, but for many of us, that probably isn’t the reality. Instead of feeling happy, perky and luminous, after a one-night stand, we often feel our worst. I’ll be the first to admit the flaws of the one-night-stand because honey, it just isn’t that fun.

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What We Get From Sex

We have sex to bond, and we bond to have sex!

  • Sex between a couple establishes and helps maintain bonding.  The more regular the sex, the closer, more long-lasting the bond.
  • Sex releases endorphins, which explains the happy-sappy feelings we get afterward.
  • Sex has been said to increase self-esteem and optimism.

But  it’s not just any sex that creates these beneficial effects.  It’s usually about who you’re sharing it with, that makes the difference.

One-night-stands are about as different as masturbation is to sex. Similar to how you might feel after masturbation — with a one-night stand, there’s no connection, bonding or blissful afterglow. Not that masturbation or one night stands aren’t enjoyable, but there’s nothing like an endearing human touch from someone you have a lasting connection with.

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Consider the main reasons we have sex

  • Chemistry  bonding and/or to express love

How can you know you have chemistry with someone you just met?  They might be attractive and mysterious, but chemistry doesn’t usually develop after a single round of drinks.

Without chemistry, can a one-night stand really be as great as sex with someone who you have a bond with?

If we don’t know our bed-buddy, how can we bond through sex?  It makes more sense to first bond by getting to know each other.

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What We Get from One-Night Stands

Feelings of being used, or being a sex object, lowered self-esteem, regrets and fears of STD’s or whether he will call you tomorrow are common after a one night stand.

Besides that, how many of us have wasted our time wondering why we weren’t good enough for him/her to have more than just one night of sex with. Are we not good enough for him to want to get to know us outside of the bedroom?  Having sex with someone who shows us his love and care, is shown to lead to the opposite of what one might feel after a one-night stand. Sex  with a caring partner usually leads to bliss, bonding, and higher self-esteem.

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Why We Bother with One-Night Stands

I’d bet that some do it with hopes of a relationship.  For others, it’s the thrill. But besides a thrill, there’s little else a one-night stands has to offer. Plus, there are plenty of ways to find thrills without putting yourself at risk for STD’s, emotional pain, regrets anger and low self-esteem.

There may be some who have had one-night stands without such experiences, but generally sex with someone we know and care about will probably leave us more fulfilled.

Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

The Journey to Great Sex Part 2

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Last week we brought you the first installment on how to spice up the bedroom in any relationship. If you recall – the little pearl that brings the ultimate stimulation, the birthday suit is the best, don’t stop, and doggy style with a hint of romance. Mostly these tips require trust, openness, and honesty. This week we have the remaining 5 tips for great sex!

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Sound Effects

Don’t be silent during the act. Believe it or not, men usually find moans and groans encouraging. When he kisses, licks or does something you enjoy, let him know you’re into it. You don’t have to force it or scream, but don’t stifle the moans and groans that express your pleasure. Same goes for men – we like hearing it!

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Dirty Talk 

“Yeah boy I like it, yeah boy I like it. Love it when you talk that talk to me.” Rihanna didn’t make the song for no reason.  Let’s be honest lovelies bedroom talk is the best! Much like sound effects, let the dirty words roll off your tongue, its reinforcing to your partner and invigorates the two of you.

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A Little Humor, Please?

Humor is allowed in the bedroom, mostly. Say an awkward slip happens; it’s totally acceptable to laugh. Recalling that funny cat commercial, and laughing hysterically in the middle of the act is not. Funny laugh-out-loud moments doing the deed are sometimes bonding. Laughing also releases tension, if there is any.

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Your Cervix May Have Another Use

Explore the joys of cervical stimulation, but do so with care because not all women enjoy it. If you’re one who does, you can have a whole ‘nother world of fun.

Tip: To find out if cervical stimulation is for you, start by practicing alone by gently using a toy to reach the cervix. There are certain times of the month when it can result in discomfort or even pain, so exercise caution and patience.

If you’ve already learned that cervical stimulation is your thing, try sharing the news with your lover. Knowing there’s another organ that could bring you pleasure is thrilling and believe me, he’ll be excited to try.

Helpful positions for cervical stimulation include: Sex standing up, him behind you and leaning just slightly, with your hands resting on a bed or table. Don’t go full-blown doggy-style position, but more of a slanted one. This is an excellent way to reach the cervix, and it allows gentle, but firm stimulation. For more intense stimulation, try lying on your back, your bum at the edge of the bed with him standing up, between your legs. Rest your legs on his shoulders and lift up, slightly.

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Bring Bob (your battery operated buddy) along, if your partner doesn’t mind.

If you’re both familiar with, and enjoy toys, next time you buy one, tell your lover about your purchase and how the two of you can explore its abilities together. The anticipation of playing with your new battery operated buddy will have  you both aroused.

As a last note, it seemed necessary to say this: Never, under any circumstance put her breasts in your mouth and say “ga-ga” or “ma-ma.” Ever.

Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

 

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