5 Things Single Folks Do Wrong

What are single folks doing wrong – that keep them single? I’m talking to the singles who wish to be in a relationship, not those who have it all together and are not seeking advice from an ex-single woman. After observing some of my single friends, I noticed a few common factors, and now we’re about to rip them to shreds:

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1. “Something must be wrong with me since I can’t find the right one.”

Nothing is wrong with you! Repeat after me: nothing is wrong with me.

Stop comparing yourself to other people’s relationships, and for Pete’s sake, stop listening to the TV’s version of single folks (ahem Ted from How I met your mother!) You are not those characters, and being single doesn’t mean you must be doing something wrong. Stop trying to fix yourself each weekend when you go home without a date.

Everything is right with you.  I would bet that the minute you stop focusing on what must be wrong with you, or what you need to fix in order to start bringing in the men/women, you’ll begin to see a whole new world of people who catch your interest, and who might even share the interest. Sometimes we are so wrapped up in our singledom to even notice those dates we’re praying so hard for at night!

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2.  Needing a relationship.

I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but the minute you start saying “I need a man/woman because….”, is the minute you’re basically telling the universe that you can’t live without this special someone. You’ll never get what you want by needing it too much.

Learn to feel (even just a little) okay without having someone to come home to. Sounds crappy, but when you tell yourself that you’re okay with being alone for a while (even if this isn’t true), you’ll start reaping what you’ve sown all this time. Holding on too tightly seems to do the opposite of what we really want, so practice letting go just a tiny bit, and see if you don’t soon begin meeting potential loves.

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3. You’ve developed the never-gonna-happen mentality.

Never develop the never-gonna-happen mentality! Or you know what will happen? Exactly what you proclaim — nothing. When you’re constantly feeding yourself these ideas that something will never happen for you, that is exactly what you’ll get! So, as corny as it is, take the advice of Earl Nightingale and begin with more positive thinking. You’ll be amazed at what that simple task alone will do for you.

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4. “I’ll never get anyone because my standards are just too high.”There’s no such thing, so stop giving yourself that excuse. Having standards just means that you know what you and need in a man or woman. While relationships are about compromise, you don’t have to give up your core wants and needs. Figure out what it is that you value the most in a partner and use that to help you find the beau that best suits you. Just because you have standards doesn’t mean you can’t find anyone. It actually means you can more easily sift through the ones that aren’t a good fit.

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5. “The kind of man/woman I want just doesn’t exist.”

Again, there’s no such thing, so stop using that excuse. I can assure you, the kind of person you’ve dreamed of is out there. If you are a fan of the Law of Attraction, you’ll realize this as truth. The qualities that you are looking for in your partner are out there and continue to put those into the universe. As you date you can use this as a barometer for your compatibility with another. Flexibility is key – sometimes your dream man or woman does not come in the package you exected. But if you are open to it you just might unwrap the gift and realize he or she was all that you ever asked for. This means being open to meeting and getting to know people – and realizing that you deserve your desires and you can have them . Yes you’re dream man or woman is out there – open your eyes.

Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

Celebrate Valentines Day as a Single Woman

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Thought you had to skip celebrating the day of love simply because you’re single? Oh, darling we’re happy to tell you that you’re so wrong. Single is no excuse not to celebrate and give to the person you’ve loved longer than anyone else in your lifetime — yourself! We present you with 3 incredible ways to celebrate loving you (and actually enjoy yourself) this Valentine’s day, despite being alone.

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1. Sexy Shopping Spree

Why bother when you have no lover to slip into new lingerie for, you ask? Because it isn’t about a significant other. When we get dressed for a typical day, we choose clothing that makes us feel good. Why should lingerie be any different? Dressing up is something many of us have enjoyed since childhood. Remember all the fun and excitement that came with it? That’s exactly the kind of fun you experience when you drop your inhibitions and take a day to dress up in something sexy that makes you feel great. Dressing up in lingerie is just the adult version of a childhood pastime.

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2. Get Intimate… with yourself

Who said you needed a lover for that special V-day orgasm we all long for? Grab ol’ trusty and show yourself some love, or better yet…spend your Valentine’s day scoping out adult stores. Pick up a new, awesome-looking vibrator for a Valentine’s night thrill. Go all out and combine your new toy adventure with number one on our list (the lingerie shopping spree!) for an even bigger V-day bang.

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3. Set a Goal and Begin Right Away

Lastly, end your thrill-filled night by setting a goal, and making a step towards it. Just stepping outside of your normal routine and doing something out of the ordinary — even if it is late and you have work the next day — is a whole new excitement in itself. Nothing is more fulfilling than making strides towards a goal no matter how small. Best of all, you’ll have something to look forward to at the end of the V-day night, even if it is just a painting your wall.

Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

The Gift of Orgasm is Coming This Year Part 2

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It was so steamy in our first Gift of Orgasm article that we had to give you a part two – tips for single gals to pleasure themselves solo!

Replicate sex

Realistic dildos are designed to replicate intercourse with a male. Not identical to having a partner, but this makes giving yourself a Holiday orgasm even more fun. Amongst the most popular are dildos made from material called “VixSkin” or “CyberSkin” or “SuperSkin” or “PureSkin,” etc. Basically, if it has the word “skin” in the material’s name, it’s designed to feel like skin. The downside: “skin-dildos” requires more care than your average silicone-material because the highly porous “skin” materials mean it holds bacteria, and isn’t best for long-term use due to risk of infection. The next best thing to “skin-like” dildos are realistically shaped ones made from safe silicone.

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The G-spot Gal

A favorite G-spot toy, Envie. G-spot toys are the perfect gift for the girl who wants to experience the “gush” or “squirt” everyone talks about. First, you must locate your G-spot before you can begin to stimulate it. Once you have, it can be one of the best orgasms you’ll experience. Some women are able to orgasm via manual stimulation (1-2 fingers vigorously rubbing the anterior wall of the vagina — the spot where you feel a ridged-like texture, and when pressed, you’ll feel a need-to-urine-like sensation) or using  a toy designed to stimulate the g-spot. Just like the other orgasms, the G-spot is no exception, as some need a heavy-duty g-spotter with an intense curve in its design (like the Pure Wand, a steel, pricey dildo).

Some like Pure Wand. Others, like myself, can achieve the g-spot orgasm via more affordable, slightly curved toys (such as the Lia G-Bliss vibrator, a favorite). Another inexpensive option for those who are able to reach their G-spot is creams, like “Tickle Her G-Spot,” to improve sensation. The cream is applied directly to the G-spot, and results in swelling, making it easier to find. It may also make it more sensitive to stimulation, therefore making the G-spot orgasm easier to achieve. It can be used with a G-spot toy or fingers.

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Take the Bullet

Bullet vibrators can be used for external stimulation, and some for internal, too. Bullets tend to have powerful vibrations with a hint of buzziness to them, which can either be perfect for you, or too intense and result in what I call Numb Clit Syndrome.

For those of us who prone to NCS, using a bullet internally and leaving it in place is enticing. Once in place, your hands can manually or electronically massage the clitoris for added stimulation.

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Girl On-The-Go

Another favorite of mine is a hands-free vibrator that can be tucked away in your undies, while you use your hands to explore or just slip it in for a thrill outside the house. I love a good strap-on clitoral vibrator, which is a vibrator that sits on the outside of your vulva and is held on by straps, too. My favorite and often used hands-free vibrator is Noa, a toy that stimulates the G-spot, with an outer “stem” that nudges against the clitoris.

Oral Simulators

Even oral sex lovers can have the next best thing. SaSi — a toy labeled an “oral simulator” is said to help achieve a similar-to-oral-sex orgasm. It has a “nub” under a layer of silicone that moves back and forth to simulate the sensation of tongue movements.

A more budget-friendly version, and favorite of mine, is the Sqweel 2. It has small silicone “tongues” that rotate on a wheel and flap against the skin.

Happy Self-Gifting Lovelies!

 Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

The Gift of Orgasm is Coming This Year

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Chilly, winter months mean spending more time indoors, but more time indoors often leads to one of our favorite things — warm, blissful sexThis is the Season for giving, after all. Giving yourself as a holiday gift to a lover is popular, but what about the single ladies? Who’ll give you the gift of orgasms? Who better than yourself? For some, being single means abstinence, but it doesn’t have to be orgasm-less! Here are some fabulous pleasure-gifting ideas to give yourself this Holiday!  Single ladies, do not fear! The gift of orgasm is coming this year!

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The Rabbit

One of the most effective toys is the dual-action vibrator, famously referred to as the “Rabbit.” Dual-actions come in many shapes and sizes – animal shapes, g-spot curved, – but they all have one thing in common: two stimulators:  the internal “shaft” that stimulates the vagina, and the clitoral arm for stimulating the clitoris – hence the name “dual-action”. A dual-action vibrator is one of the best toys for solo play as they provide the most stimulation to the most important areas, simultaneously! (My favorite dual-action, Vitality). Find the right dual-action vibrator and it could result in the best orgasm you’ve had, flying solo.

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Some women require a lot of power to reach a clitoral orgasm, whereas others can achieve clitoral orgasm from something as simple as a steady stream of water, a rumbly vibrator, or a lubricated finger.

Whichever category you fall into, you’ll find at least one option that’ll do the trick for you.

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For the Clit-O’-Steel:

For those who need intense power, a vibrating wand such as the Hitachi should be pleasurable. The Hitachi is said to be so powerful that it can bring the toughest of clitoris’ to their knees. For the clit on a budget, the cheaper wand versions also get great feedback.

For the Clit-O’-Honey

Those of us who can reach clitoral orgasm with little power (or no power, just a slippery finger) have more options to choose from. For starters, a well-lubed finger can be just as satisfying as a vibrator! Using lubricant (such as Spunk Lube) and a finger or two to slide and glide up, over and around the clitoris with stroking motions can be a perfectly orgasmic gift for a solo-gal.

singlesecretgardenCreams and Gels

For heightened stimulation, clitoral gels and creams are available that work by increasing blood flow to the genital area, and therefore increasing sensation. *Look for safe ingredients in lubes (paraben-free is ideal). My favorites are Secret Garden by Shunga and Horny Honey.

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 Showerhead Technique!

Another option for the clit-on-a-budget include this time-tested favorite. I’d almost swear the inventor of the removable showerhead must’ve been a woman with a high sex-drive! A steady stream of water makes for one awesomely orgasmic gift. If you have a removable showerhead and you haven’t already, go jump in that bathtub, girl! Lay down and experiment with the different settings while directing the flow onto your clitoris. This technique works great for the gal too stressed to orgasm since the warm water is relaxing, making it easier to focus on the… gift at hand.

For the gal without a removable showerhead:

Head to your local Bed Bath and Beyond asap! Kidding. You can position yourself under the tub faucet; legs wrapped around it, and let the stream fall onto your hot spots. 

If these steamy tips weren’t enough be sure to check out Part 2!

Written by: Kendra Richards is a writer, pet lover, aloe vera-eater and a woman of many talents. If she isn’t passionately typing away, she’s more than likely spending time with her family, pets, boyfriend or attempting to sew something. It’s also possible that she’s buried deep in some type of activism work. Writing anything and everything from beauty, health, fashion product reviews to informational articles, she loves variety when it comes to reading and  writing. A people and animal lover, she believes cats are super heroes in disguise.

Quoting Singledom

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20 or 30 something and single while many of your friends are getting married and starting families? You’ve mastered your career, on track to become CEO. You’ve traveled the world or at least the States. You’ve been a good friend – given your shoulder to cry on and have cried on a shoulder or two … or ten. You’ve dated, been in relationships, broke up, and went to therapy to work on yourself. And now you’re back at square one – alone. Does this sound familiar?

Singledom can often sound like the main cord of a fateful horror movie, dun dun dun, but does it have to be? Sometimes we need a little pick me upper to remind us what being single is all about. Our top 5 quotes for all the single lovelies, and gents!

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“Sometimes you have to stand alone to prove that you can still stand.” –Anonymous.

Sometimes taking that step to be alone is even harder than being comfortable in an unhealthy relationship. You may have been crippled so much by your past that the thought of being single aches you. Taking that step can give you the confidence and courage that you need, and remind you that you can do it! You may be alone but you’re still standing.

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“I don’t like to be labeled as lonely just because I am alone.” – Delta Burke.

Who ever said being single means you are alone? I’ve been in plenty relationships and have felt lonely. Really the feeling of loneliness is relational – meaning do you have the emotional connections with others, and not just romantic partners. This also means a support system of friends and family. Importantly do you have a connection to yourself? Being single can be a great time for you to reconnect with the person we so often forget – ourselves.

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“Being single is getting over the illusion that there is somebody out there to complete you and taking charge of your own life.” – Omkar Phatak.

So true! Often we think, “life will be perfect once I meet that special someone.” We spend so much time trying to find love to complete us, when really no one can complete you but yourself. Who wants a half a person anyways? Your romantic partner should add to your life, no doubt, but before anyone can make you better, you have to be at your best.

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My mom always complains about my lack of a boyfriend. Well, next time she asks, I’m going to tell her I’m dating two different guys : Mr. Duracell and Mr. Energizer.– Michelle Landry.

There’s not much to be said about this right? The world of technology makes it so that we can all enjoy ourselves, even without a partner, if we so feel the need.

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“Save a boyfriend for a rainy day – and another, in case it doesn’t rain.” – Mae West.

Many of us contemporary professional stylista’s have a back-up plan for our back-up plan when we were deciding on our careers and other important life decisions. Why not have one for dating? I think Miss West may be on to something. Sometimes it’s nice to have that card or two in your back pocket just when you need a “friend.”  Enjoy your single life ladies, and when the weather gets a little gloomy and you need a hint of sunshine, pull out a few options if that’s your delight.

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